Missed the episode? Check it out online here. If you caught it, let's discuss:
This week, Heidi and Spencer got into their 'first big fight' (errm, didn't this already happen when Spencer ejected Heidi from his car last season?) over wedding plans and Whitney went on a date with everyone's favorite personal trainer, Jarett.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong but when Jarett made a cameo earlier this season, he was portrayed as a gym-rat idiot who spent entirely too much time hanging out with a dude who waxed philosophical about $0.40 vintage tees. Audrina knows this. Lauren knows this so why would they advocate Whitney dating someone like this? Do they not like Whitney?
Speaking of Miss Port, I'm glad her social life is actually being highlighted. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Lisa Love kept her chained to her desk in case of some dire fashion emergency.
Because I'm a 14-year-old boy trapped inside the body of a 24-year-old girl, I thought Big Wang's was the greatest name for a bar ever. Also adding to my sophomoric glee? The fact that the eatery offers a dish called the Dirty Sanchez (a jalapeño and cheddar hot dog topped with chili and more cheddar. Definitely sounds like the culinary equivalent of the act, doesn't it?).
Now that we've effectively wrapped up the sub-plot, let's get into the meat of this week's episode -- Heidi and Spencer trying to plan a wedding.
I can't believe they're still fighting about it, either. I mean, dear Lord, Spencer. Cabo? Vegas? Dude, you're getting married, not spending a weekend with your bros.
Oh and, "just tell me what day to be there?" Unacceptable answer. If Dan said that, I would punch him in the larynx. Women, for the most part, understand men. We understand that you don't ooh-and-ahh over china and we're not asking you to. We just want a couple of honest opinions because we're both in this thing together.
And speaking of china -- Heidi, could you be more tacky? The only way you can justify owning china with names on it is if your name is either Kate Spade or Royal Doulton. (I own Kate Spade china, by the way and it's pink and green and just fabulous). And a crown? Two kinds of girls wear crowns -- three-year-olds playing dress-up and spoilt, pretentious super sweet sixteens. Though she intellectually fits both profile, I can categorically state that Miss Montag is neither a toddler nor a sixteen-year-old. Therefore, a crown would be a terrible accessory.
Was anyone else shocked that Pratt-Daddy didn't self-immolate or at least start smoking a bit when he set foot in the church?
And did anyone else notice that Spencer doesn't walk so much as he oozes into a room?
I don't often agree so vehemently with Heidi, but Blondie had a serious point here. I don't care if he rented EVERY honeymoon suite in Vegas. If a girl says she doesn't want to elope, then packing her bags and planning to whisk her off to Vegas will result in fail of epic proportions.
Which brings us to our Quote of the Week. It doesn't happen often but every now and then, Heidi's brain and mouth connect and she says something intelligent: "This isn't like, Spencer's relationship and you decide what we do." Valley-Girl speak aside, Miss Montag made a pretty salient point. A relationship is comprised of compromise and I don't think Pratt-Daddy quite understands that concept.
This week's You Look Like A Pratt is more proof that Spencer is incredibly aptly named. Introducing Spencer Douchenozzle Mimsy de Prattfeather:
He manages to be both waspy and waspish. What a winning combination.This week, Heidi and Spencer got into their 'first big fight' (errm, didn't this already happen when Spencer ejected Heidi from his car last season?) over wedding plans and Whitney went on a date with everyone's favorite personal trainer, Jarett.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong but when Jarett made a cameo earlier this season, he was portrayed as a gym-rat idiot who spent entirely too much time hanging out with a dude who waxed philosophical about $0.40 vintage tees. Audrina knows this. Lauren knows this so why would they advocate Whitney dating someone like this? Do they not like Whitney?
Speaking of Miss Port, I'm glad her social life is actually being highlighted. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Lisa Love kept her chained to her desk in case of some dire fashion emergency.
Because I'm a 14-year-old boy trapped inside the body of a 24-year-old girl, I thought Big Wang's was the greatest name for a bar ever. Also adding to my sophomoric glee? The fact that the eatery offers a dish called the Dirty Sanchez (a jalapeño and cheddar hot dog topped with chili and more cheddar. Definitely sounds like the culinary equivalent of the act, doesn't it?).
Now that we've effectively wrapped up the sub-plot, let's get into the meat of this week's episode -- Heidi and Spencer trying to plan a wedding.
I can't believe they're still fighting about it, either. I mean, dear Lord, Spencer. Cabo? Vegas? Dude, you're getting married, not spending a weekend with your bros.
Oh and, "just tell me what day to be there?" Unacceptable answer. If Dan said that, I would punch him in the larynx. Women, for the most part, understand men. We understand that you don't ooh-and-ahh over china and we're not asking you to. We just want a couple of honest opinions because we're both in this thing together.
And speaking of china -- Heidi, could you be more tacky? The only way you can justify owning china with names on it is if your name is either Kate Spade or Royal Doulton. (I own Kate Spade china, by the way and it's pink and green and just fabulous). And a crown? Two kinds of girls wear crowns -- three-year-olds playing dress-up and spoilt, pretentious super sweet sixteens. Though she intellectually fits both profile, I can categorically state that Miss Montag is neither a toddler nor a sixteen-year-old. Therefore, a crown would be a terrible accessory.
Was anyone else shocked that Pratt-Daddy didn't self-immolate or at least start smoking a bit when he set foot in the church?
And did anyone else notice that Spencer doesn't walk so much as he oozes into a room?
I don't often agree so vehemently with Heidi, but Blondie had a serious point here. I don't care if he rented EVERY honeymoon suite in Vegas. If a girl says she doesn't want to elope, then packing her bags and planning to whisk her off to Vegas will result in fail of epic proportions.
Which brings us to our Quote of the Week. It doesn't happen often but every now and then, Heidi's brain and mouth connect and she says something intelligent: "This isn't like, Spencer's relationship and you decide what we do." Valley-Girl speak aside, Miss Montag made a pretty salient point. A relationship is comprised of compromise and I don't think Pratt-Daddy quite understands that concept.
This week's You Look Like A Pratt is more proof that Spencer is incredibly aptly named. Introducing Spencer Douchenozzle Mimsy de Prattfeather:
In conclusion, Heidi and Spencer are idiots. You would think of everyone in this world, these two dolts would realize that once MTV starts interfering in your relationship -- your relationship is doomed to fail. Nick and Jessica. Carmen and Dave. Shanna and Travis. These are not politicians or academic scholars or anyone of remote importance -- these are celebrities. People Pratt-Daddy and Heidi actually know about and understand. MTV meddling = inevitable crash-and-burn of relationship.
Next week: We meet more of the Pratt clan. Spencer has a sister? Dub?!
On and totally unrelated, but I am seriously jonesing for a Coke Slurpee.
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