Tim's put my stapler inside a jelly again

I realize I've been Little Miss M.I.A. lately but lots has been going on lately, so let me fill you in:

+ I have a job. A real one involving clocking in, firewalls and more office supplies than you can shake a stick at...although why anyone would want to shake sticks at paper clips and Post-It notes is beyond me.

+ Dan and I got approved for the apartment so we'll finally have our own place! Our move-in date is March 15, so expect either a picture post or if you're one of those unlucky bastards with a truck -- a phone call asking for help.

+ My 25th birthday is coming up in about two weeks. I'm trying not to think about this too much.

+ My green card interview is tomorrow. Dan and I are trooping down to Philly with a bunch of paperwork, photographs and correspondence to prove that our relationship is on the up-and-up and convince the government to give a green card. If I was a cat, I'd have a very long tail and be in a room filled with rocking chairs. Wish me luck.

Oh, one thing I've discovered about this whole 9-5 (or, in my case -- 8 to 4:30) thing? You come home and you're ravenous. I mean, seriously. Lately, I've just wanted to shovel food into my mouth at an astonishing rate. Kinda feel like this guy:



That being said -- anyone down to go and get some burgers? Seriously -- I've got a jones.

LOST: Eggtown

A bit of an update, so grab a cold beverage and make yourself comfy.

The reason y'all didn't find a Lost recap this morning was because I got a job and unfortunately, it doesn't involve blogging about pop culture minutae. So, the recaps will be a day late (and possibly a buck short), but they'll be there.

Now, let's get to the creamy filling, shall we?

If you haven't seen the episode yet, stop reading this post and head on over to ABC.com where Eggtown is currently streaming in HD.

LINKS:

Hi-res screencaps and audio at Lost Easter Eggs
Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy Blog
Jeff Jensen @ EW.com -- The Trials of Kate

FLASHBACK: Kate Austen



Yeah, post-Island Kate cleans up pretty well. I couldn't even get mad at Dan for openly salivating.

OFF ISLAND:

+ Kate's on trial for arson, assault, fraud, murder and a whole mess of other things. Apparently, almost dying in a plane crash and spending months detained on Wild Monkey Island does not absolve you of your past crimes.

+ Her lawyer suggests bringing Kate's son to the stand to evoke the sympathies of the jury. Kate vehemently disagrees, so instead legal counsel calls Dr. Jack Shephard to the stand. Despite being under oath, Jack feeds the courtroom a pack of lies -- there were only eight survivors of flight 815 (I may have failed every math class I ever took, but even I know this doesn't add up), Kate was a cross between Florence Nightingale and Wonderwoman on the Island and the marshal accompanying Kate back to the States died in the crash. Kate cuts the testimony short and the prosecution gets one last question in -- does Jack love Kate? Jack responds with yet another lie -- he doesn't love Kate. Not anymore.

+ Kate's wheelchair-bound mother comes to visit her daughter. She wants to see her grandson before she dies and won't testify against Kate if she allows this. Kate refuses and surprisingly enough, her mother backs down and doesn't testify. Kate's punishment? Ten years probation in which she can't leave the state. She says that since she has a son, she wouldn't want to do this anyone.

+ Kate comes home (to a remarkably swanky pad. Did that Oceanic settlement kick in already?) to her son. A cute, tow-headed little boy.....named Aaron. That's right, Miss Austen is now Mama Austen to Claire's baby boy. Chew on that.

ON ISLAND:

+ Ben is locked up again...only this time, it's in the same basement that held Locke's father.

+ Miles convinces Kate to help him escape so he can question Ben. They get to Ben's basement (thanks to a little interference via Sawyer) and Miles gives us a little lesson in the nuances between blackmail and extortion by demanding Ben pay up to the tune of $3.2 million dollars. If he does so, Miles will tell his mysterious employer nothing of Ben's existence. This little act of rebellion causes Locke to banish Kate from Team Locke.

+ Kate and Sawyer spend the night together and in a move straight out of my adolescence, they don't end up doing the deed. The next morning, Sawyer expresses relief at the fact that Kate isn't pregnant and when she rebuffs his advances, he tells her that she'll come running back the next time Jack makes her mad. Kate belts him across the face and leaves.

+ Meanwhile, Locke graduates from merely crazy to batshit bananas. He serves up two very different meals for two very different men. Ben got the more classic breakfast option of melon and eggs while newcomer Miles got a spicier dish:



A grenade shoved straight into his mouth. Now that's a spicy meatball!

+ We learn the helicopter transporting Charlotte, Frank, Sayid and Desmond has yet to reach the freighter. More on that next week.

THEORIES:

Claire must be dead because there is no way she'd give up her son.

If Aaron is considered one of the infamous Oceanic Six, that means that Sun must be the last member of this ragtag bunch. Why? Because if she doesn't get off the island, both she and her unborn child will die.


QUESTIONS:

What the hell happened to Claire?

Is Aaron considered one of the Oceanic Six?

Why did Jack lie under oath and say there were only eight survivors from flight 815? I may have failed every math class I ever took, but even I know that doesn't add up.

$3.2 millions seems a bit arbitrary, don't you think? Why did Miles demand that specific amount?

* There are tons of other questions and theories but I watched the show last night at 1:30 a.m. and am currently running on five hours of sleep and no caffeine. A much more entertaining and thorough recap next week. Promise.

OTHER NEWS:

We might have found the perfect apartment. Cross your fingers, guys 'cause seriously? We're like five seconds from pulling a Jewel and living out of our cars.

Dan and I saw the Foo Fighters at the Spectrum last night. A two-hour juggernaut featuring the old stuff, the new stuff, Grohl screaming like a banshee on fire, an acoustic set, the best version of Everlong I've ever heard in my life, the prettiest version of Big Me I've ever heard in my life (featuring Jessy Greene on vocals), a song by drummer Taylor Hawkins, a triangle solo and the Foo Fighters giving the Spectrum the most shit-rockingly awesome goodbye anyone could ever give the venue with a balls-out version of Best of You. My only minor gripe? That My Hero wasn't played in all its electric glory. This girl loves the bombast and that the drums on this track feel like a herd of elephants stampeding through your central nervous system.

The opening acts were Against Me (who we missed because getting into Philly is like crossing a piranha-infested Amazonian lake only ten times more trecherous) and Serj Tankian of System of a Down who made oddball references to Borat and "Beethoven's cunt" and basically sounded just like every SoaD song I've ever heard.

All in all, an amazing show that just reiterated and inflamed my passion for the band and it's remarkably talented lead singer. Guitarist Christ Shiflett and Dave Grohl played duelling guitars for a bit and like I told Dan, if I had been wearing a skirt? Well, let's just say the band would have gotten a free pair of Aerie hipsters.

I might even end up a rock and roll god, it might turn into a steady job

Mama's got a brand new bag....and by bag, I mean job!

Thanks for all the good luck wishes and killer mojo, guys. I really appreciate it!

I start tomorrow -- wish me luck!

LOST: The Economist

If you haven't seen the episode yet, stop reading this post and head on over to ABC.com where The Economist is currently streaming in HD.

Vital Links:
Lost Easter Eggs for hi-res screen caps and video
Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy Lost Discussion Board
Jeff Jensen at EW.com.

Now, onto the show. Because Lost is just a touch more complex than The Hills, I've decided to split the recap up into sections. Hopefully, this will make things easier for the both of us.

Off Island: This week, we discover what happens to Sayid after he gets off Wild Monkey Island. Simply put? Dude becomes Jason Bourne.

=

Sayid ends up bouncing all over the world, capping asses and taking names. He eventually winds up in Berlin, Germany where he falls for a tall, reedy blonde named Elsa.

Red flag -- remember what happened the last time Mr. Jarrah hooked up with a tall blonde? She got shot in the abdomen and ended up dead. Well, you know what they say about history. Elsa (apparently a mercenary herself) shoots Sayid in the shoulder and then, meets the same unfortunate fate as Shannon.

Blonde women take note -- do not date Sayid Jarrah or O.J. Simpson. You will end up dead.

Filled with heartache and lead, Sayid stumbles to the nearest veterinarian for medical assistance. I guess mercenaries don't have a very good health plan. Waiting to stitch up his wounds and give Sayid his next assignment was none other than big bad Ben Linus. That's right -- the man who said he'd rather sell his soul than trust Ben is now working for him.

On Island: Sayid, Kate and Miles head to the barracks to bring Charlotte back to the Jack Pack. Meanwhile, Faraday acts on his instinct and sets up a little experiment. He calls Regina on the freighter and asks her to send over a small rocket to a beacon he has set up on the Island. She does so and oddly enough, the geographic arrival of the rocket does not coincide with the actual arrive. Stranger still? When the missile finally arrives, there is a 31-minute time difference between the clock on the rocket and the timer on the beacon. Weird....

Team Sayid arrive at the barracks to find Hurley bound, gagged and trapped in a closet. They rescue him and Hurley tells the trio that Locke was threatening Charlotte and when he spoke up against it, Locke shoved him in the closet and headed over to Ben's place in the barracks. Team Sayid head over to the ol' Linus place where Sayid discovers a hidden room behind a bookcase. The contents of this room? Clothing, stacks of international money and passports from every pretty much every country on earth.

What does that help reaffirm? That Ben's a liar and seems to have left the Island many, many times.

While Sayid's checking out the international room o' mystery, Kate peeking underneath Ben's bed when she sees a pair of feet enter the room. Sawyer's back and although he motions for Kate to be quiet, her first reaction is to scream for Sayid.

See, it turns out that this little visit to Ben's is actually a trap.

Hurley lied to Sayid and company on Locke's behalf. Team Locke shows up, armed and ready, and shuffles Sayid off to the Others' Game Room where Ben has already been secured. There, Sayid negotiates Charlotte's release, switching one Rescuer (Miles) for another (Charlotte) and telling Locke that he plans on infiltrating the freighter to determine the Rescuers' true motives. Sayid heads back to the chopper and we also learn that Kate is now playing for Team Locke (undoubtedly because of Sawyer).

The last shot we see is Sayid, Desmond, Captain Frank, Charlotte and Naomi's body leaving the Island via helicopter.

Questions:

Who is The Economist?

Is this why Hurley apologizes to Jack in the future? For scamming Sayid and Kate? After all, this act sends Freckles straight into Sawyer's loving arms, leaving Jack alone yet again.

Who is Mr. Avellino and why did he have to die? Fun fact, Tony Soprano's ancestors hail from the Italian town of Avellino.

How did Sayid go from completely distrusting Ben to working for him? Is Ben using Sayid to wipe out the remaining members of the DHARMA initiative?

Why is there a 31-minute difference between Freighter Time and Island Time and more importantly, how did Faraday know to check for it?

What's the deal with the bracelets? An indication that Naomi and Elsa were working for the same organization? And on a related note -- Who is R.G. and what is their connection to Naomi? Regina from the Freighter, perhaps?



A good episode filled with intrigue, but it raised so many more questions. I'm used to Lost leaving me with more questions than answers, but damn it! A girl's got limits to what she can take!

I'm really excited about next week, though. I hear we get a peek into the future of everyone's favorite fugitive (and the woman Dan step on me to get a look at), Miss Kate Austin.

Life is a series of hello and good-byes, I'm afraid it's time for good-bye.

Miami releases seven-time Pro Bowl linebacker, Zach Thomas.

I realize that the introduction of the Big Tuna means sweeping reforms in Miami, but why did he have release Zach? He was the heart of our team. Our bulldog...and now he's gone.

So far, the Big Tuna era ain't making me happy. We'll see how this goes...

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

When I saw that iconic silhouette and heard that incredible score again, I swear I got goosebumps. I can't wait until this movie comes out.

I Choo-Choo Choose You

After spending two and a half hours rummaging through the greeting card racks at Target and Hallmark, I came to a simple conclusion -- Valentine's Day cards for men suck.

They're schlocky, contrived, ostentatious and last time I checked, men don't really give a shit about pink glitter or black-and-white images of kissing strangers.

That's why I made Dan his Valentine -- A piece of posterboard, a whole mess of construction paper and glue, the requisite sweet, punny Valentine and a far-from-complete litany of reasons why I love the guy so much.




Yes, there's something very elementary-school about making a valentine but I think I'm short enough to get away with it.

So, that's my valentine for Dan and here's my valentine for you. I've always believed that music ≥ love. That notes, chords and melodies can alternately break and heal a heart. That being said, here is a collection of tracks about love that I love. I hope you dig 'em too.

Fourteen For The Fourteenth

1. Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop -- Landon Pigg -- Also known as the song from the diamond commercial. It's lo-fi, very sweet and I don't know a girl who could resist being told that someone is falling in love with her.
2. So In Love -- Curtis Mayfield -- A little 70's soul does a body good...and does two bodies even better.
3. Virginia Moon -- Foo Fighters feat. Norah Jones -- Dave Grohl writes the prettiest ballads and this song is no exception. Sweet and remarkably sexy...but I'd expect nothing less.
4. Paperweight -- Joshua Radin feat. Schuyler Fisk -- Another sweet, lo-fi song about being happy to be in love. That's my favorite part, I think. Just hanging out in bed on the weekends and not wanting anything more in the world.
5. Broken -- Jack Johnson -- Another weekend morning track. A little Jack Johnson, some coffee and pancakes and sunshine streaming in through the window. It's pretty perfect.
6. Diamond Ring -- The Black Crowes -- One of my favorites from the Black Crowes. It captures the euphoria of being in love and that moment when you know you're ready to say, 'I do.'
7. All Day Love Affair -- Cee-Lo -- As you can probably tell by now, I'm not about the sweeping grandiosity of love. I dig the everyday stuff. Like the Soul Machine says, "Nothing compares to waking up this morning to you."
8. The Good Witch of the North -- Everclear -- What's got two thumbs and is a sucker for both Everclear and The Wizard of Oz? This girl. This track gets me every time. Especially the last lines.
9. As You Sleep -- Something Corporate -- When Dan and I were doing the long distance thing, I listened to this song ad infinitum. I remember never wanting to sleep because I considered it time wasted. Now, though? I think I have low-grade narcolepsy. If I'm warm and comfortable and Dan's next to me? Out like a light.
10. Not Fire, Not Ice -- Ben Harper -- Like Harper says, true love is sacrifice and probably the most worthy one you can make.
11. Love You 'Til The End -- The Pogues -- Fun fact about The Pogues? They were originally called Pogue Mahone -- the Anglicization of the Irish póg mo thóin, meaning "kiss my arse." And who says love is dead?
12. Two of Us -- The Beatles -- All love songs don't have to be epic paeans. Sometimes, sweet simplicity will do.
13. Here's Everything I've Always Meant To Say -- Jamison Parker -- I've been called 'cute' my whole life. In fact, think of any adjective you'd assign to a Labrador Retriever and odds are, I've been referred to as such. Then, I met Dan and he called me beautiful and he meant it and more so, I felt it.
14. Wild Horses (Live) -- The Rolling Stones feat. Dave Matthews -- And what would Valentine's Day be without Wild Horses?

When I first discovered this song, I developed a theory to go with it. I call it Aural Custody.

See, when you start dating someone, you invariable have 'your song' and every time you hear it, you get a little misty. But then, catastrophe strikes and you break up! Now, you're stuck with hating a song you once loved because it reminds you too much of your jerk-ass ex.

Luckily, my first ex boyfriend decided that our song should be All My Life by K-Ci and Jojo, so no great loss there.

But then, the dude I dated after that? Our song was I'll Be There For You/ You're All I Need To Get By by Method Man and Mary J. Blige which is actually a really good track. I mean, Marvin Gaye/Tami Terrell interpolation and sick production courtesy of The RZA -- what's not to like? Anyway, after we broke up, I could no longer appreciate this track without thinking of Admiral Dickface and that pissed me off. This is a great song. Why should I have to give it up because of some asshole?

So, I came up with aural custody and the musical pyramid. This way should the worst happen, you don't end up hating a piece of music you really loved.

Yes, I am fully aware that I probably love music more than I love people and I'm OK with that. Like Sapphire said, "They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts."

Anyway, back to the pyramid:

You start off at the base with some generic love song. Something sweet but relatively harmless. A nice little Dave Matthews track. Crash Into Me, perhaps. Sweet enough that you smile when you hear it, but innocuous enough that you won't have a meltdown in the produce section of the grocery store.

Then, Phase Two -- a little more personal but fairly generic. Glycerine by Bush, maybe? Or Stellar by Incubus (P.S. -- Happy Valentine's Day, ladies and gay gentlemen. The shirtless rockstars are for you).

Phase Three -- More personal, less generic. You're getting serious...but not serious enough to give this person custody of your favorite song. Not yet, anyway. Joshua Radin's cover of Only You is a good choice as is Walking After You by the Foo Fighters.

and finally, Phase Four -- the top of the pyramid. If this was A Link To The Past, you'd be gearing up for a boss battle with Ganon, but you're doing something far more dangerous. You are willing giving custody of something you love to someone else. At this point, you trust them with your heart and more importantly, with your favorite song be it Wild Horses, an Elliot Smith b-side or a Billie Holiday gem.

Happy Valentine's Day, guys! Make it a great one!

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

One of the reasons I love these guys so much is that whenever the question, "Are you hungry?" is posed -- the answer is always, "I could eat."

I love people who love food. People who make semi-orgasmic noises when falling all over a big sandwich. People who lick their fingers with shameless abandon when they're eating ribs or chicken or anything remotely messy. People who are well acquainted with condiments and fiercely defend their love of Frank's Red Hot or Sriracha. People who understand that dinner can last three hours easily.

That being said -- any recommendations where this girl can go to dinner on her birthday?

Two rules:

A) Must be within a 15 mile radius of West Chester, PA
B) Must have a full bar or failing that, a kickass margarita selection.

I mean, I'm going to be 25. If that doesn't justify at least one good, stiff drink, I don't know what does.

Here lies Jaime. She had one love and lots 'o shoes!

I got my shoes for Meme's wedding and they are fabulous.



They're pink, they make me feel tall and pretty and they go perfectly with my favorite black pants.

I love them. I want to run away to Malibu with them. I want to have a pre-breakup Rachel McAdams/Ryan Gosling love affair with them....

What? I really like my new shoes. They're cute.

On a related note, I totally want to watch The Notebook.



I blame the heart-shaped candy. I bought some for Dan, I had one piece today and now, I'm all nuts.

LOST: Confirmed Dead

If you haven't seen the episode yet, stop reading this post and head on over to ABC.com where Confirmed Dead is currently streaming in HD.

Want more information? Check out Lost Easter Eggs for hi-res screen caps and video, Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy Lost Discussion Board for a lively and animated debate on last night's episode and finally, to read a far better recap than mine, check out the fantastic Jeff Jensen at EW.com.

Now, that we've got all that out of the way -- let's talk Lost.

Episode two wasn't nearly as adrenaline-packed as the premiere but necessary in story building. I think this is why people get frustrated with the show. They want constant, heart-pumping action but none of the block building that comes with good storytelling. Look, if you want high-octane explosions and little else, check out a Michael Bay flick. If you want the most intelligent, incisive and cerebral show on television, stick with Lost.

This episode featured flashbacks of the rescuers and explained how this motley crew came together and landed on Wild Monkey Island. So, let's get accquainted with the rescuers, yes?

Dan Faraday -- Physicist and possible head-case. Started weeping uncontrollably when he learned that flight 815 had been found and couldn't answer why. Commented that sunlight doesn't scatter the way it should on the Island. His name is based on English physicist Michael Faraday who researched electromagneticism.

Miles Straume -- Spiritualist (one part Ghostbuster, one part Cole Sear). Simply put, homeboy communicates with dead people. Socially awkward and generally angry. Confirms that the Rescuers have arrived on the island seeking Ben. His name is a play on the word 'Maelstrom' -- a swirling mass of water.

Charlotte Staples Lewis -- English anthropologist. Discovers a polar bear wearing a Dharma Hydra collar in Medenine, Tunisia. Her name is based on English writer and scholar Clive Staples Lewis, more commonly known as C.S. Lewis -- author of The Chronicles of Narnia series.

Frank Lapidus -- Pilot. Was supposed to be on flight 815. Calls Oceanic Air hotline to state that pilot Seth Norris has been incorrectly identified. Claims to have memorized the entire flight manifest. Possibly a drunk (according to Naomi).

These four, along with Naomi, were assembled by Matthew Abbadon for very specific reasons that he doesn't reveal. When Naomi asks what to do if she encounters any survivors of flight 815, Abbadon forcefully and repeatedly insists that there were no survivors. Hmmm....

Now that we're all friends, let's move on.

News reports show that the wreckage of flight 815 have been found in the Sunda Trench (northeastern Indian Ocean near Bali). According to the report, there are no survivors but we know better.

The rescuers parachute out of the helicopter and land in various locations on the island. Faraday first makes contact with Jack and Kate and the trio go on a mini-mission to find the rest of the rescuers. They encounter Miles on the rocky area where Kelvin died and he reveals that Naomi's last words ('Tell my sister I love her') were actually a distress code meaning someone was holding a gun to her head. Kate tells Miles that Locke was responsible for Naomi's death and the group troops back to the body where Miles performs some spooky whispering mojo and confirms that Kate is telling the truth.

Charlotte's tracking signal starts beeping and the group start heading towards....but out come Sayid and Juliet, guns a'blazing! They disarm the rescuers and head in the direction of the tracking signal. Sayid grabs Miles' phone and sees Charlotte's signal. It's moving. Fast. The group runs toward the signal and they discover that Charlotte's GPS has been tied around Vincent's neck. It is then that Jack realizes that Locke has Charlotte.

Meanwhile, after safely landing the helicopter, Frank pulls himself out of some bushes to realize he's been watched by a cow. He tries to stand, but his legs don't work, so he fires a flare. Locke and Company see the signal and Charlotte starts to move towards it. Locke attempts to stop her and before he can do anything else, Ben shoots Charlotte twice in the chest. Let me reiterate -- Ben fucking caps Charlotte in the chest. Cold blooded, but do we expect anything less from Mr. Linus? Sawyer beats the shit of Ben but then we realize that thanks to a bulletproof vest, Miss Lewis is still alive.

Jack and Company also see the flare and head on over to Frank. Sayid inspects the helicopter while Juliet tends to Frank's head wound. Frank asks Juliet's name and having memorized the plane's manifest, realizes that Juliet wasn't on the plane and is actually an Island 'native.' Miles freaks out and starts asking where 'he' is.

The he in question?



Why, who else but Mr. Benjamin Linus.

Miles pulls out a photograph and states that the rescuers are actually on the Island to find Ben.

While this is going down, Locke's got a gun to Ben (despite protests from Alex and Claire) and intends on shooting him, but Ben tells Locke that he's got the key to a plethora of secrets. Locke asks what the smoke monster is and Ben replies that he doesn't know. Instead, he starts reciting personal information about Charlotte -- full name, birthplace, family. When asked how he knows this, Ben simply says that he's got a man on the boat.

Onto my favorite part -- Theories:

+ Faraday tells Jack and Kate that rescuing suvivors isn't their primary mission. So, what is? I'm thinking the true mission is to confirm the dead of the Dharma Initiative and bring Ben to justice as he was responsible for the Purge.

+ The rescuers brought gas masks and the biohazard suits to avoid contact with The Virus -- remember that? The nasty little bug that Rousseau's crew apparently got when they landed on the Island?

+ Michael is Ben's 'Man on the Boat.' Remember, Ben let Michael go, so maybe they cut a deal? Ben lets Michael and Walt go free, but not before Michael does a little work for him.

And it just wouldn't be Lost if I didn't have a cavalcade of Questions:

+ Whose body was found in the Sunda Trench and why was it identified as Seth Norris? Norris was the Smoke Monster's first casualty and couldn't have been underwater.

+ Bigger question -- where the hell did this wreckage come from? The plane broke up over the Island. The cockpit ended up in the jungle? How did 815 end up buried in a trench?

+ How did a Dharma polar bear get to Tunisia?

+ What was Miles using in the bedroom while Ghostbusting? It didn't look anything like a Proton Pack.

+ Why did Daniel start weeping uncontrollably when he learned that flight 815 had been found?

+ What the hell is the Smoke Monster?

All in all, good episode and I can't wait until next week.

What did you think of the episode? Any theories? Any questions I missed? Let me know!

P.S. -- I told Dan about trying to Jedi Mind Trick a Diet Coke all day and when he got home last night, he asked me to do it again. Five seconds later, Diet Coke appears on the kitchen counter! This leads me to believe one of two things -- either the Force is strong in me or Dan is just remarkably thoughtful. Either way, I'm happy.

I swear to God, this mix could sink the sun

As mentioned earlier, we're keeping Valentine's Day a fairly lo-fi affair this year, but I'm keeping with our tradition of the Valentine Mix CD.

Only, there's a slight monkey in the machine.

I can't think of what to put on it.

Since we've been together, we've made each other approximately 40 mix CDs. Let's assume each CD contains 16 tracks. 16 x 40 = 640 songs.

640 really good, really thoughtful tracks -- Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones, Sing by Travis, This Old Heart of Mine by the Isley Brothers, Cry Love by John Hiatt, Good Witch of the North by Everclear, Darling, Be Home Soon by Matt Costa...

Amazing music you want to listen to again and again.

I'm looking for music primarily in the rock genre but would also appreciate some really good, old-school soul.

Never underestimate the power of a good soul classic. For example -- last night while I was blow-drying my hair, I heard the strains of Sam Cooke emanating from the bedroom and when I popped my head out, Dan swept me up and we spent the next couple of minutes dancing to You Send Me in the bathroom. What can I tell you? The kid's a romantic.

So, if anyone can recommend some well-written, non-schlocky love songs -- I would really appreciate it.

The songs you would use if you were making a mix CD for someone you loved.

Thanks guys!

P.S.

Andrea -- this one's for you. I figure you'd appreciate it:

We drew our own constellations

Job: Did a little research and learned that the job only pays $7 an hour. Couple that with a 50-mile drive everyday and I had to pass. I've got a wedding to pay for and $7/hr just won't cut it. I've also submitted my resume to Southwest Airlines and to a firm looking for a proofreader, so keep that mojo coming.

Valentine's Day: Dan and I will be celebrating our first one together and I'm really excited! It's gonna be lo-fi -- I'm making him a homemade valentine (shut up. They're cute) and we're having dinner at Cosi where we will share s'mores for dessert (S'mores are Dan's new thing and he's become all sorts of experimental with them. His latest culinary concoction? Two Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies sandwiched together with three miniature marshmallows).



He's an amazing guy and every now and then, it'll hit me like a Mack truck. This man, this amazing, passionate, sweet, gorgeous, funny, whip-smart, kind, generous man loves me. Loves me. How did I ever get so lucky?

Rants: I'm feelin' kinda salty, so here goes:

1. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer making money hand-over-fist for creating crap like Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans. They aren't even remotely funny. These two assbags just Cuisinart a bunch of pop culture references and try to pass it off as a movie. It requires NO talent whatsoever. All you need to do that is a horny exec and a mouth that doubles as a vacuum cleaner. And to the morons who actually patronize this crap -- you should all be sterilized for the good of mankind. Seriously. The fact that Meet The Spartans made $28 million domestically makes me ill.

2. Rolling Stone Magazine. Now, we've had some problems in the past, but let me clarify something for you. Darfur? Tragedy. The fact that American troops are being killed needlessly? Tragedy. Having cancer and no health insurance? Tragedy. The life of Britney Spears? Not a tragedy. Yes, the round-the-clock coverage of her breakdown is bang out of order, but let's not cannonize Spears just yet, shall we? You can't deny there's a certain level of spoiled entitlement lurking just below the over-tanned and shiny surface.

Raves: So we don't end this post on a down note:

1. Sawyer's Nickname Generator. Mr. Ford's got a name for everyone on the Island and now, you can get your very own nickname too! According to the generator, I am 'Third Degree.' At least it's not 'Hymen.'



2. Macaroni and Cheese. No nutritional value whatsoever, but when it doesn't come out of a blue box -- it borders on divine.

3. Lost tomorrow night. Apparently the rescuers get a flashback!

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give

I have an interview tomorrow!!!

It's for a events promotions firm and I'm alternately incredibly excited and incredibly nervous.

Wish me luck and send along some good mojo!

Happy Super Tuesday!

Truth, justice and the American way.

Reasons to Barack The Vote:

+ Higher pay for teachers. I have numerous friends who are teachers and even considered going into the field myself at a point. Teachers set the foundation for the future and good ones are hard to find. Good teachers should be rewarded for their hard work and efforts.

+ He voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment which defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. He supports civil unions and leaves the definition of marriage up to the states. I have both friends and family members who are gay. Denying the right of marriage to them is ridiculous and pedantic.

+ He is pro-choice.

+ He has a history of supporting environmentally-friendly bills and realizes the dangers of global warming.

+ He wants to decrease our independence on foreign oil.

+ He supports protecting net neutrality.

+ LEGAL immigration. I am a legal immigrant. I moved to the U.S. from the U.K. thirteen years ago. Since that point, my family has paid a small fortune in legal fees and immigration application fees in order to remain in this country. Obama introduced the Citizenship Promotion Act to ensure that immigration application fees are both reasonable and fair.

+ Ending the war in Iraq. He's been opposed to it since the very beginning and I believe he will take the right steps to rectifying the missteps of the current administration.

+ He supports embryonic stem cell research and co-sponsored the 2005 Stem Cell Research Act. The day we stop expanding scientifically is the day modern society plunges right back into the Dark Ages.

Obama 2008.

NY Giants = Superbowl Champions AND Dynasty Killers

NEW YORK GIANTS: 17
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: 14

In other words -- BAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Watching the Pats go down in flames in the last few minutes was quite possibly the best sports moment of the entire season. It's always nice to see the underdog win, but it's even nicer to see the Pats lose.

Five reasons watching the Pats fail last night was amazing:

1. The fact that it was Eli who did it. Eli Manning -- the guy who lived his whole life with the prefix 'Peyton's Little Brother'. Well, not last night and not anymore. Eli made history and I couldn't be happier for him. Can you imagine being Archie Manning? Two quarterback sons who not only won consecutive Superbowls, but also both picked up the MVP award. Amazing.



2. The fact that Boston fans will no longer be able to claim that they won the World Series and the Superbowl in the same year. I hate Boston fans. I really do. They're cocky and obnoxious and perpetually drunk. They remind me of sperm, in a way. Only one in like, 30,000 has a chance of being a human.

3. Seeing Tom Brady lose. The man is a complete douche. Seriously. I'm not talking about breaking up with then-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan while she was pregnant, but rather the fact that on December 10, 2006 -- we beat these bastards 21-0 and a week later, Brady has the gall to say, "I'm sure if you asked them, it probably sounds good for them to say they have it all figured out, but they're 6-7 and we're 9-4, so go tell me who probably has it more figured out."

Hey cockboy -- not only did we kick your ass, but we embarrassed you. Shut up. Oh and by the by? Your chin looks like a butt and your teeth look like Chiclets.



4. Wes Welker. He used to be a Dolphin. He used to be the Great White Hope...and then, he joined the Pats. That's like having your husband sleep with your sister. An unforgivable betrayal. I hope this dude never gets a Superbowl ring...unless he comes back to the light side.

5. The best part? The sweetest, most delicious, finger-lickin' fabulous fact of last night? That there is only ONE undefeated team in the league and that's the 1972 Miami Dolphins. Sorry, Belichick. Your boys almost had it...but almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.



Oh and congratulations to my boy, #99 Jason Taylor for winning the Walter Payton Man of the Year award. I can't think of a more deserving candidate.



It hasn't even been 12 hours and I already miss football season...

YES!

I finally got my employment authorization card! I can finally get a job!

I'm so excited. I've been waiting for this moment since I was 16-years-old.

With that in mind -- who wants to hire an eager, personable and highly motivated award-winning, published writer?

Wedding Related Question

Mix CDs as wedding favors? Y/N?

I have mixed feelings about wedding favors. They remind me of the goodie bags you got as a kid when you went to a birthday party.

But, I kinda like the idea of the mix CD.

Firstly, it's cheaper than your average wedding favor. I mean, $1.70 for a crappy candle that no-one will ever bother lighting times 100 guests = $170 on something no-one cares about in the first place!

Secondly, it seems so much more personal. Not only would the mix contain music featured on the day (Beach Song by Hans Zimmer, Hey Jude by the The Mutato Muzika Orchestra, Wild Horses by Slash's Snakepit, Back To The Future Overture by Alan Silvestri) but also a collection of our favorite tracks. Everything from Jackie Wilson to Bruce Springsteen to Elton John to Madonna. I'd also have a track list and cover art.



Like this only six million times better because I won't throw it together in ten minutes.

So -- mix CDs as wedding favors? Good idea or tacky? Let me know.

Thanks guys!

LOST: The Beginning of the End

OH. MY. GOD.



It's back. It's back and it's glorious and I have so many questions, but first things first.

If you missed it last night, ABC.com is streaming last night's episode for free. Check it out here.
As always, Lost Screencaps and Easter Eggs has great shots of the episode as well as enhanced audio.
Finally, if you want to check out an animately, lively discussion of the show, go no further than Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy blog.

Now, onto the episode itself. Last warning, if you didn't see it - do not read any further because I will totally ruin it for you. Seriously. I am Ruiny McSpoilerson. Last chance to bail.

Here goes:

Overall, this episode was definitely indicative of just how dark this season will be. Hurley's always been the show's most optimistic character. When everyone else was worrying about their fate on this bizarre island, Hugo was busy building a golf course to help relieve tension. And let's not forget the Dharma van. Initially mocked, both Hurley and the van came through in a serious way in the last episode of season 3.



However, in this episode -- we saw Hurley's future and it seemed to be a grim one. Evading the police, experiencing truly terrifying visions (drowning in a police interrogation room, seeing dead people) and ending back up in the mental hospital he spent quality time in before boarding flight 815. When the show's sunniest character makes a 180 like this, you know the Losties are in store for some bleak(er) times.

One of the reasons I love Lost so much (and Andrea was totally spot-on about this) is the emotional range of the show. I really care about these characters and am thoroughly invested in their lives. During last night's episode, I cried (when Hurley told Claire that Charlie had died), I gasped in shock when I realized that Jack would have killed Locke if the gun had been loaded and I dug my fingernails into Dan's arm and screamed (when Hurley saw Jacob in the hair and when that eye popped up and stared straight at Senor Reyes).

Speaking of, IT'S CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD!!

Hurley saw Christian Shephard in Jacob's ramshackle shack! What is Jack's deceased father doing hanging out in the shack?! And why can Hurley see him? There is no way that Christian = Jacob.

Other Questions:

- The man who came to see Hurley at the institution definitely wasn't an attorney for Oceanic Air. So, who was he? He introduced himself as Matthew Abbadon. According to Lostpedia (best. resource. ever), Abbadon is the Hebrew word for 'destruction' and 'Matthew Abbadon' is also an anagram of 'What Bad Boatmen.' Hmmmm....



Lance Reddick was a great choice. He's magnetic on-screen and pardon my French, but this is one very cool, very diabolical looking motherfucker.

- The Oceanic Six. We already know that Jack, Kate and Hurley made it back safe. So, let's talk about the other half of the equation. I'm thinking Jin and Sun (because if Sun stays on the island, she and her unborn child will surely die) and....? No clue. Is it Sawyer? Is it Michael? Is it Sayid? Is it whoever was in the coffin?

- The rescuer who parachuted out of the helicopter is named Daniel Faraday. Two things concerning that -- a) why didn't the helicopter land? What is it about the island that causes aircraft to go nuts (two helicopters and flight 815)? And b) Faraday is obviously a reference to Michael Faraday, an English physicist who researched electromagnetic phenomena. Coincidence? Come on, it's Lost. Nothing is coincidental.

- Who is Naomi's sister? Why could Hurley see Charlie despite the fact that he is, indeed, dead? Why does Hurley regret having gone with Locke and feel the need to apologize to Jack for it in his flash-forward? And most important of all -- is there any way we could speed up this week so it's next Thursday already?

P.S. -- Regarding the Flyers/Rangers game last night? Even though we were blown out, it was a blast. I love Philly. It's such a great sports city. These people are seriously passionate and understand that the opposing team deserves every last ounce of your animosity and bitter rage. Highlights of the night?

1. Seeing a Rangers fan and a Flyers fan exchange fisticuffs in the nosebleed seats...and seeing security haul the Rangers fan away.
2. An angry crowd chanting, 'Asshole.'
3. An entire section of proud Philadelphians booed a single man who made the poor fashion choice of wearing a Tony Romo jersey to the game. Come on, dude. This is Eagles territory. It's a good thing he wasn't wearing a T.O. jersey. Homeboy probably would have been shot.