Dear pestilent swine:
For the past four days, I've been feeling like this guy:
OK, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.
I've been on the Lindsay Lohan health plan for the past week. No, not a continuous stream of vodka, cigarettes, semen and blow, but rather ejecting every bit of nutrition from my body with extreme force.
In four days, all I've eaten are six Ritz-Bits Peanut Butter Crackers, 3/4 of a bottle of Gatorade, five Triscuits and two glasses of ginger ale. I tried a slice of pizza last night, but no -- you had to rob me of my favorite food. For that, I will never forgive you, you utter bastard.
That being said, I'm evicting your ass immediately. Get out and take your virulence with you. Oh and tell your buddy, Mr. Head-Cold-From-Hell to GTFO too. Seriously -- I've had enough of being Little Miss Infirmary.
You have twenty-four hours.
Sincerely:
The Management.
For the past four days, I've been feeling like this guy:
OK, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.
I've been on the Lindsay Lohan health plan for the past week. No, not a continuous stream of vodka, cigarettes, semen and blow, but rather ejecting every bit of nutrition from my body with extreme force.
In four days, all I've eaten are six Ritz-Bits Peanut Butter Crackers, 3/4 of a bottle of Gatorade, five Triscuits and two glasses of ginger ale. I tried a slice of pizza last night, but no -- you had to rob me of my favorite food. For that, I will never forgive you, you utter bastard.
That being said, I'm evicting your ass immediately. Get out and take your virulence with you. Oh and tell your buddy, Mr. Head-Cold-From-Hell to GTFO too. Seriously -- I've had enough of being Little Miss Infirmary.
You have twenty-four hours.
Sincerely:
The Management.
