+ Searching for a vein in my arm is not like searching for the Holy Grail. It's not that hard. I am not Cusho -- the Human Pincushion. I am a 24-year-old with a slightly irrational fear of blood and needles. Be nice, be sympathetic but most of all, be quick. The last thing I need is for someone to tell me that I, "scared the vein away" before they jam another needle into my flesh. Inept medical 'professionals' = Grouchy Jaime.
+ The knowledge that the three Band-aids Medi-Wench slapped onto my flesh today will have to painfully be ripped off very soon = Grouchy Jaime
+ Paps' bedside manner = Grouchy Jaime. Yes, I've always been scared of needles and blood and no, saying, 'it's not so bad' and telling me to, 'deal with it' has never worked to make me feel better. Why, dear God, do you think it would work now? Oh and telling me that Sparky would treat me the exact same way? LIES! She would hold my hand and then, procure both pizza and DVDs for the both of us.
+ No car. No Chipotle. No Publix subs. No Wawa Iced Tea. All of these (or lack thereof) = Grouchy Jaime
+ The Best Friend might not be able to make it down to El Dub this week. No quality time = Grouchy Jaime.
+ Missing my baby = Grouchy Jaime. No kisses, no bean game (no, it's not some bizarro covert sexual reference. I'm talking about Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine), no Veronica Marsathons, no waking up to awesome music = Grande No Whip, Extra Foam, Double Shot Grouchy Jaime.
+ The knowledge that the three Band-aids Medi-Wench slapped onto my flesh today will have to painfully be ripped off very soon = Grouchy Jaime
+ Paps' bedside manner = Grouchy Jaime. Yes, I've always been scared of needles and blood and no, saying, 'it's not so bad' and telling me to, 'deal with it' has never worked to make me feel better. Why, dear God, do you think it would work now? Oh and telling me that Sparky would treat me the exact same way? LIES! She would hold my hand and then, procure both pizza and DVDs for the both of us.
+ No car. No Chipotle. No Publix subs. No Wawa Iced Tea. All of these (or lack thereof) = Grouchy Jaime
+ The Best Friend might not be able to make it down to El Dub this week. No quality time = Grouchy Jaime.
+ Missing my baby = Grouchy Jaime. No kisses, no bean game (no, it's not some bizarro covert sexual reference. I'm talking about Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine), no Veronica Marsathons, no waking up to awesome music = Grande No Whip, Extra Foam, Double Shot Grouchy Jaime.
0 comments on "How To Make A Grouchy Jaime"
Post a Comment