Because I am an ass of epic proportions, I missed the Colts laying the pimp-hand down on the Saints last night (41-10). Kinda bummed about that, but definitely looking forward to the 2007-2008 season.
Does living in a new city mean new allegiances? Philly may be filled with beer and cheesesteak-fueled Eagles fanatics, but this girl's still rocking the orange and teal. And this year, like every other, I'm convinced that we'll be making it to the big show.
Yes, our quarterback is almost eligible for social security and yes, we have another new coach but we're the only undefeated Super Bowl winners in the history of the NFL, we're the only pro team Dan Marino played for and we were among the stars of the 1994 Jim Carrey classic, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. If that doesn't qualify us as Super Bowl material, I don't know what does.
Being a Dolphins fan, you quickly learn to love having your still-beating heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on as if someone was putting out a fire. But when we win (especially when we beat the Pats, Jets or Bills), it heals all. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing Tom Brady's pitiful face falling against a backdrop of cheering fans decked in orange and teal. And this year, we've got a secret weapon. Well, three of them, actually.
Samoans -- fullback Reagan Mauia, center Samson Satele and defensive tackle Paul Soliai. Genetically, Samoans are superior athletes. They're big, they're tough and they can make Rice Krispies out of bones. Take Soliai, for example.
6'4" and tipping the scales at 344 lbs. Dude's built like a brick shithouse. And not only is he huge, but he can move. In 2007, big man ran the 40-yard dash in 5.02 seconds and had a 30 1/2 inch vertical jump. To put that in perspective for you -- Soliai can jump half my entire height. Yeah. Bad-ass.
In addition to unabashed optimism, the start of season also means foaming at the mouth while reading Sports Guy Bill Simmons' picks every week. Now, I love Simmons. I think he's funny, intelligent and a great writer. But, he's also a die-hard Pats fan and his picks, more often than not, suck. His wife (the delightfully charming Sports Gal), on the other hand, is awesome and in addition to making great picks, she also waxes philosophical on the really important matters (i.e.: what the hell is Heidi thinking in regards to Spencer and who had the better sideburns -- Brandon or Dylan?). For his week one pick, Simmons had this to say:
Firstly, we're gonna spank the Pats just like we do every year, so you and your team can suck it. Secondly, Orlando's not that bad a city. I lived there for four years and had a great time and finally, listen to your wife! She was smart enough to pick the 'Fins over the 'Skins and come Sunday, she's gonna reap the rewards.
So yeah, football season's upon us and I couldn't be happier. In the past, the Dolphins have made both me and Hootie cry, but this year? Tears of joy, baby. Like the fight song says, "When you say Miami, you're talking Super Bowl!"
Does living in a new city mean new allegiances? Philly may be filled with beer and cheesesteak-fueled Eagles fanatics, but this girl's still rocking the orange and teal. And this year, like every other, I'm convinced that we'll be making it to the big show.
Yes, our quarterback is almost eligible for social security and yes, we have another new coach but we're the only undefeated Super Bowl winners in the history of the NFL, we're the only pro team Dan Marino played for and we were among the stars of the 1994 Jim Carrey classic, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. If that doesn't qualify us as Super Bowl material, I don't know what does.
Being a Dolphins fan, you quickly learn to love having your still-beating heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on as if someone was putting out a fire. But when we win (especially when we beat the Pats, Jets or Bills), it heals all. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing Tom Brady's pitiful face falling against a backdrop of cheering fans decked in orange and teal. And this year, we've got a secret weapon. Well, three of them, actually.
Samoans -- fullback Reagan Mauia, center Samson Satele and defensive tackle Paul Soliai. Genetically, Samoans are superior athletes. They're big, they're tough and they can make Rice Krispies out of bones. Take Soliai, for example.
6'4" and tipping the scales at 344 lbs. Dude's built like a brick shithouse. And not only is he huge, but he can move. In 2007, big man ran the 40-yard dash in 5.02 seconds and had a 30 1/2 inch vertical jump. To put that in perspective for you -- Soliai can jump half my entire height. Yeah. Bad-ass.
In addition to unabashed optimism, the start of season also means foaming at the mouth while reading Sports Guy Bill Simmons' picks every week. Now, I love Simmons. I think he's funny, intelligent and a great writer. But, he's also a die-hard Pats fan and his picks, more often than not, suck. His wife (the delightfully charming Sports Gal), on the other hand, is awesome and in addition to making great picks, she also waxes philosophical on the really important matters (i.e.: what the hell is Heidi thinking in regards to Spencer and who had the better sideburns -- Brandon or Dylan?). For his week one pick, Simmons had this to say:
REDSKINS (-3) over Dolphins
The Dolphins' fans are angry that I stuck them in the Bruce Coslet Division yesterday; this is on the heels of Tampa fans being mad about the Tropicana Field photo essay; and the Jacksonville fans still being ticked because I made fun of their city two years ago when the NFL stupidly awarded them a Super Bowl. I'm slowly turning all of Florida against me and couldn't be prouder.(Next up: Orlando! If you ever wanted to know why the terrorists hate us, just spend a week there and it will all make sense. I've been there twice and there won't be a third time. No wonder Shaq fled for L.A.)
Firstly, we're gonna spank the Pats just like we do every year, so you and your team can suck it. Secondly, Orlando's not that bad a city. I lived there for four years and had a great time and finally, listen to your wife! She was smart enough to pick the 'Fins over the 'Skins and come Sunday, she's gonna reap the rewards.
So yeah, football season's upon us and I couldn't be happier. In the past, the Dolphins have made both me and Hootie cry, but this year? Tears of joy, baby. Like the fight song says, "When you say Miami, you're talking Super Bowl!"
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