Earlier this week, I watched two five-month old babies and their respective three-year-old siblings. The kids were remarkably well-behaved and I had a great time with them, but dear Lord - children are exhausting.
Things I learned from babysitting four children all under the age of four:
1) Don't do that.
2) Dora The Explorer is on all the time and if you watch more than an hour of the show, you will begin to hate immigrants.
3) Food going in is not proportionate to food coming out. Poop completely defies the laws of physics.
4) Little boys eat toxic waste. That's the only explanation for them being so smelly.
5) My nieces are ridiculously cute and as Dana Carvey said, the power of their cuteness does indeed heal everything.
Case in point? After making mac 'n cheese for lunch, Liv turns to me and says, "Aunt Jaime -- this was the best lunch ever."
Yeah. If this kid wants a pony for Christmas, she's getting one.
Following the encounter, I actually called Paps to apologize for my childhood. If I had to deal with me as a youngster, I would have thrown my younger self through a wall on numerous occasions and suffered from multiple heart attacks on a daily basis.
If I wasn't attempting to land myself in the emergency room (smashing head-first into a brick wall, pouring bubble mix into my eye, sliding across my grandparents' bed, coming an inch of slamming head-first into the radiator), I was talking. Incessantly. To anyone in a 20-foot radius.
Apparently, 'Stranger Danger' meant nothing to me and if that was worrisome in the 80s, can you imagine how terrifying it'll be ten years from now?
I watch To Catch A Predator. I know what kind of sick bastards are out there.
I don't know how parents do it. My sister and I were pretty good kids, but worrying about outside factors alone would drive anyone to drink. The fact that my parents aren't full-blown alcoholics amazes me.
On that note -- call your mom today. Tell her you love her and apologize for everything you ever did as a child. Her reaction will be priceless. Trust me.
And completely unrelated but plug-worthy nevertheless: The Namesake is finally out on DVD. Check out the movie and definitely read the book. Gorgeously written and alternately heart-breaking and heart-healing. Also, Kal Penn's kinda dreamy, if you're into that sort of thing (I myself, am not because Penn resembles every single one of my male cousins and that borders on creepy).
Things I learned from babysitting four children all under the age of four:
1) Don't do that.
2) Dora The Explorer is on all the time and if you watch more than an hour of the show, you will begin to hate immigrants.
3) Food going in is not proportionate to food coming out. Poop completely defies the laws of physics.
4) Little boys eat toxic waste. That's the only explanation for them being so smelly.
5) My nieces are ridiculously cute and as Dana Carvey said, the power of their cuteness does indeed heal everything.
Case in point? After making mac 'n cheese for lunch, Liv turns to me and says, "Aunt Jaime -- this was the best lunch ever."
Yeah. If this kid wants a pony for Christmas, she's getting one.
Following the encounter, I actually called Paps to apologize for my childhood. If I had to deal with me as a youngster, I would have thrown my younger self through a wall on numerous occasions and suffered from multiple heart attacks on a daily basis.
If I wasn't attempting to land myself in the emergency room (smashing head-first into a brick wall, pouring bubble mix into my eye, sliding across my grandparents' bed, coming an inch of slamming head-first into the radiator), I was talking. Incessantly. To anyone in a 20-foot radius.
Apparently, 'Stranger Danger' meant nothing to me and if that was worrisome in the 80s, can you imagine how terrifying it'll be ten years from now?
I watch To Catch A Predator. I know what kind of sick bastards are out there.
I don't know how parents do it. My sister and I were pretty good kids, but worrying about outside factors alone would drive anyone to drink. The fact that my parents aren't full-blown alcoholics amazes me.
On that note -- call your mom today. Tell her you love her and apologize for everything you ever did as a child. Her reaction will be priceless. Trust me.
And completely unrelated but plug-worthy nevertheless: The Namesake is finally out on DVD. Check out the movie and definitely read the book. Gorgeously written and alternately heart-breaking and heart-healing. Also, Kal Penn's kinda dreamy, if you're into that sort of thing (I myself, am not because Penn resembles every single one of my male cousins and that borders on creepy).
1 comments on "Daddy, Does God Have Feet?"
Oh , geez haha You put bubbles in your EYES?!!!
I always apologize to my parents, cause I know I was a pain in the ass..
~Missy
Post a Comment