January 4, 2008

My So-Called Life: The Substitute

Posted by Miss Jaime at Friday, January 04, 2008
MTV is running a Hills marathon today and since I miss blogging about teen-oriented television, here for your enjoyment is a quick wrap-up of episode six of My So-Called Life -- The Substitute.

In this episode, Dead Poets Society comes to Three Rivers in the form of Vic Racine (played by Roger Rees), a far-less fuzzy version of Robin Williams (both in demeanor and body-hair coverage). He causes a literary awakening at Liberty High and ends up influencing his students in some very real ways.



The opening scene is like Dangerous Minds in the 'burbs. Instead of bumpin' to NWA or Tupac, these guys are blasting old-school TLC. See, this is another reason I love 90s television. The soundtrack always kicks ass.

I recall some pretty interesting substitute teachers from high school. We had this monolithic Indian teacher who wore feathers, turquoise and leather, a big jolly Jewish guy who reminded me of Mel Brooks and actually made math understandable and this completely insane man who thought I was mocking him after I sneezed in class. He made me stand a lectern for fifteen minutes as part of my punishment. Ahhh, the joys of public school.

If a sub had told us to 'continue wasting our lives', we would have. Seriously. I remember a class in high school where we spent the entire period playing with an oversized beach ball.

News of the sub's subversive teaching tactics spreads and before you know it, students who aren't even in the class are showing up to see this guy teach. How is the school allowing this?

Angela writes a piece called The Fable:
"Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely little cottage made of gingerbread and candy. She was always asleep. One morning she woke up, and the candy had mold on it. Her father blew her a kiss and the house fell down. She realized she was lost. She found herself walking down a crowded street, but the people were made of paper, like paper dolls. She blew everyone a kiss goodbye, and watched as they blew away."
When I was fifteen, I would have found this to be the most pithy thing anyone had ever written. At 24, I realize that lousy poetry is to teen angst as bad breath is to garlic.

One of the better submissions is a racy little piece called Haiku For Him:
"He peels off my clothes like a starving man
Would peel an orange.
His lips taste my juicy sweetness.
My legs tangle with his;
We become one being,
A burning furnace
In the cold dark basement of love."
Barring the basement of love (which sounds like a B-52's song), it's actually pretty good imagery and reminds me of one of my favorite Zeppelin songs -- Tangerine.



To no-one's surprise, Jordan Catalano is illiterate. Now, riddle me this, Batman -- how does one get past elementary school, middle school and half of high school without knowing how to read?

Never in my life have I ever seen high schoolers fired up about a literary magazine. The only way this ever would have happened at my high school is if the magazine contained a nude centerfold and was made from paper that could have been promptly rolled up and smoked once you were done reading.

The author of the racy haiku turns out to be Angela's prissy friend, Sharon Cherski. Lady in the street, freak in the bed. I'm just sayin', is all.



The lit mag ends up being confiscated by Principal Foster due to obscene content, Racine leaves and this gets the sophomores at Liberty High incensed.

One of the more shocking moments of the episode:

Brian: All that crap about honesty and truth. What a jerk. He didn't even teach.
Jordan: He did teach! He was the best teacher I ever had!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Not only did Jordan Catalano emote passionately but the man actually makes a positive statement regarding his own education. Incredible. And speaking of incredible -- let's feast upon a little Leto, shall we?



That one's for you, D.

A-ha! Plot twist! The hapless viewer is lead to believe that Racine was sacked by the administration, but it comes to light that Racine left on his own accord after being subpoenaed regarding non-payment of child support.

Angela confronts Racine about abandoning his family. Racine tells 'Amanda' to drop out of the mind-control factory that is high school and to let the walls of her gingerbread house come crashing down. The only thing that comes crashing down, though is Angela's idealistic view of her firebrand substitute teacher.

The episode ends with Angela photocopying issues of the Liberty Lit and passing them out, an offense that could very well get her suspended. After a joint meeting with the Chases, Principal Foster decides against suspending Angela, but the little girl who spent all her time sleeping in gingerbread houses is now very much awake.

A pretty good episode but I think I'm biased because I've always been a fan of the inspiring English teacher. I had two teachers like this -- Justin Kay and Terence Oliga. Amazing, talented, witty and passionate men who I not only consider my mentors but the very reason I know how to put pen to paper.

In Other News:

- Congratulations to Barack Obama for taking the Iowa caucus!
- I can't even begin to comment on this Britney situation because it's entirely too heartbreaking. I've never really been a fan of Ms. Spears, but do we really need round-the-clock coverage of her emotional breakdown? I hope she and her family get the help they so desperately need.
- I redefined the word 'nerdy' this week when I discovered I had a crush on Orlando Bloom's character Legolas from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Why the crush? Because he looks like Link from The Legend of Zelda. Let the mockery commence.

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