October 21, 2009

Still at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe

Posted by Miss Jaime at Wednesday, October 21, 2009 0 comments
I'm not a religious person. My mom tried to raise a good little Hindu and for a while there, she did a pretty admirable job (still a vegetarian -- good job, Mom!). But then, I grew up and realized that matted hair can turn into a river just as easily as a guy can build a boat big enough for two of every species. I.E. - Not at all (Sorry, Mom).

I don't believe in one specific deity and honestly, think the whole 'one path to salvation' thing is a load of bollocks. Primarily because no-one knows for sure. Yes, there are books and scripture and angry men yelling on television but no-one has come back from the dead with irrefutable proof screaming, "No! No! Stop it! Tear down the churches, temples and mosques! We're all supposed to worship Xenu!"

A lack of belief in organized religion doesn't preclude me from having faith. I believe. Fervently. I believe in the concept of a soul. I believe that there is inherent good in almost everyone (yes, that includes utter shitbags like Glenn Beck and Michelle Malkin) and I believe in the power of music.

That last one especially.

Vonnegut, like he did with so many other things, hit the nail on the head when he said he wanted his epitaph to read: "The only proof he needed for the existence of God was music."

For the most part, scripture leaves me cold. Yes, some of it features pretty language as well as sage advice, but it doesn't really affect me. Not in any real way. Ditto religious ceremonies. They don't feel like I'm communing with the divine as much as it feels like I'm mechanically going through the motions and paying lip service.

But music? Live music, especially? Well, that's a different story. The rumble of a bassline as it snakes through the floor and into your body, the pounding volley of drums and the howl, moan, whisper, shriek and scream of the almighty electric guitar? It's the closest I've ever come to feeling even the remotest spark of the divine.

I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band play the Philadelphia Spectrum last week. I've always liked Springsteen. He's a fantastic storyteller, a damn fine guitarist and one of the last few honorable men left standing in rock music.

I expected a great concert. Especially since the Spectrum (the first major venue Springsteen ever played) was being demolished before year's end.

What I didn't expect was to have this faith completely renewed and reinforced in one night.

I've seen countless musicians but none who perform with the unadulterated joy that Springsteen and E Street Band does.

I have yet to see any musician who seems to need the audience as much as Bruce. Not only does he thrive on performing, but it seems to sustain him. Performing seems to keep his heart pumping.

Being in the Spectrum that night amidst a sea of people -- all of whom were swaying, singing along and completely lost in the moment -- made me feel like I was part of something bigger and better than myself. Something brimming, if not damn near spilling over, with hope and the promise of a brighter tomorrow.

I'm not saying Springsteen is God. That honor is obviously reserved for Clapton, but what I am saying is that last week, I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in concert. And afterwards, I felt good. Filled with hope and goodwill towards my fellow man. A little more connected than I had been a mere three hours before.

I may never believe in scripture, learn a prayer by heart and actively participate in any sort of religious ceremony. But I believe in Bruce Springsteen and the potency of music...and for me, that's more than enough.

October 12, 2009

It's time for a throwback

Posted by Miss Jaime at Monday, October 12, 2009 0 comments


Me and Mom, circa 1984.

Mom looks exactly the same. I do not.

October 8, 2009

Grace In Small Things - 9/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Thursday, October 08, 2009 2 comments
1. 'Ask Hadley' in the Guardian's style section.

2. Hot, buttered bagels. Never really been much of a schmear kinda girl (cue the death threats from New Yorkers), but there's something really comforting and delicious about a perfectly toasted bagel with butter.

3. Cardigans. I need to own more. They're both pretty and cozy.

4. The fact that dogs get treats at the Chik-Fil-A drive thru. Last time I was there, I saw a chocolate lab leaning out of the window to get a dog biscuit while his owner picked up some human food (sidebar: waffle fries with ranch dressing and a big lemonade is truly a perfect combination). It was adorable and I strongly urge all dog owners to hit up their local Chik-Fil-A to grab some tasty treats for themselves and their pooches!

5. The fact that I've started writing again. It's this silly little fiction piece I've been batting around in my head for a while. Hardly The Great Gatsby or The Life of Pi, but fun. One of the things I love most about this is how excited I am. I'm really interested in seeing how things turn out for these characters....and then, I realize I'm the only pulling the strings. I haven't felt like this in a while.

September 23, 2009

I'm saving my sick-days till when I'm feeling better.

Posted by Miss Jaime at Wednesday, September 23, 2009 2 comments
I've been sick for the past couple of days (just a cold and not the hye-nye...I hope) and as a result, I've been a bit of a grouchy bastard.

Bound to happen, really. I mean, my throat feel like someone vigorously attacked it with a cheese grater, my head feel like an orange on a toothpick and I have about as much energy as an extra from Dawn of the Dead. You'd be a grouchy bastard too.

So, to make up for all that bad mojo, here is a list of unrelated things that make me feel like less of a grouchy bastard and more like my cheerful, sunny self:

- The phrase 'Grouchy bastard.'
- Dan going on Wawa runs for me and coming home with hot chocolate and soft pretzels. I love that man.
- Soft pretzels from the Philly Pretzel Factory. They're even better when they're slightly burned. Mmmm....
- Hoodies, jeans and flip-flops and weather that facilitates the wearing of the aforementioned (mid 60s and sunny).
- The way sunlight sparkles through leaves.
- Realizing there is an applicable Simpsons quote for pretty much every situation.
- Any conversation with my sister.
- Finding really old mix CDs in your car -- I still love-love-love Something Corporate.
- French fries from Five Guys. Perfectly salted, crunchy and best of all, they actually taste like potatoes.
- The Guardian's Word of Mouth blog.
- The smell of cedar smoke.
- Clean-smelling cologne. We had some suits in the office a few weeks ago and while none of them were particularly attractive, they smelled amazing and actually had me swooning for a second. Chalk it up to the power of Hugo Boss.
- Boston Terriers. Especially cuddly ones with overbites



- Adam Carolla.
- The return of Fringe. I'm so glad that Joshua Jackson is back on television again.
- The B.S. Report with Bill Simmons.
- American Eagle T-Shirts. So comfy.
- Making faces with my nieces. Theirs are always so much cuter than mine.
- Balsamic vinegar drizzled on pizza.
- Listening to Norah Jones on a rainy afternoon.
- Smokey Robinson's cover of Don't Know Why.
- Forehead kisses.
- Gin cocktails.
- Charles Bukowski's poetry.
- My tumblr. It's a virtual inspiration board and I kinda love/need that.
- Andrea of Caffeinate Me. She inspired this post, she's one of my favorite bloggers and the girl has kickass taste in pretty much everything ever.


September 11, 2009

Oh ok. Down came the rain and washed the spider... oh bollocks.

Posted by Miss Jaime at Friday, September 11, 2009 0 comments
Welcome to Running Commentary Friday! I think this might become a blog staple.

Let me set the stage for you -- I'm sleepy, undercaffeinated, cold and rain-soaked. Oh yeah. It's going to be a good day.

7:36: I would like to know which half-wit planned the corporate center I work in. Running through a streaming river in the pouring rain, sodding my jeans and freezing my toes is not a good way to start a Friday morning.
7:57: I love technology. Dana and I watched The Vampire Diaries "together" last night despite living 1000 miles apart. As for the show, it was a pretty solid pilot -- funny, smart, filled with pretty people and just enough teenage angst to keep things interesting. As Dana put it last night, "I want a Stefan and Damon sandwich....with Dana in the middle!" See, this is why she's one of my best friends. Well, that coupled with the fact that she's got great taste in music, always down to eat good food and makes me cackle when I laugh. Good times.
8:22: Now that England has officially qualified for the World Cup, I need to start making plans. #1 - I need to make it down to Florida to watch games with my sister and my boys (Biffle, McGillis -- I'm looking in your direction) and #2 - I need to stock up on red and white facepaint.
8:38: Speaking of red, I'm trying to determine what I'm allergic to. I have a very angry-looking, itchy red splotch on the left side of my neck. Perfume? Lotion? Either way, it's not cute.
8:57: Police officer just walked in. Mmmm....hope everything's OK. The last thing we need is a mandatory evac.
9:25: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window.
9:26: Samir is my homeboy.
9:30: Annnndddd, there's a tornado watch in effect. Awesome.
10:02: Flash flood watch until 4:00? Even better.
10:14: Mmmm....soft pretzel. I love Philly.
10:46: Yay for co-workers having babies! Congratulations, Shawn! I can't wait to see pictures of your baby boy!
12:46: Mmmm....Mediterranean orzo pasta salad.
1:07: Note to self -- do not watch The Glenn Beck Show tonight. Don't even pause on it when you're channel-surfing because the hypocrisy will cause you to stroke out. I seriously do not have a middle finger big enough for this d-bag.
1:23: As a general rule, camgirls are morons when it comes to politics. And sometimes, they're hypocrites too! Fun times!
1:47: Itchy....itchy....itchy......
1:51: Dude, the 2009 Graduation Mickey Ears aren't available? Damn it. I was going to get my sister a pair in anticipation for our Disney Graduation Extravaganza.
1:52: Any Disney rides I must hit? We've never been (and I lived in Orlando for four years, can you believe that?) and I'd appreciate the recommendations.
3:09: Who is making popcorn? It smells like a movie theater and I'm salivating like one of Pavlov's pooches. Although, you know what? Not really a fan of movie theater popcorn anymore. It tastes different now than it did when I was a kid. Less delicious, more styrofoam peanutty. And Golden Topping? What the effery is that? Firstly, golden is not a flavor and what the hell is it? It's some sort of dubious liquid that may as well be motor oil and people drench their food with it. Blech. They should sell kettle corn in movie theaters. That would be awesome.
3:40: I'm delivering board books. Here's to hoping my craptastic sense of direction fails me spectacularly.
4:17: Eff you in the eye, Mapquest. Why are so you insistent on giving me the longest, most inefficient route possible?
4:38: Jamison Parker's cover of Everybody Wants To Rule The World rules!
4:47: Dude, how am I lost on a driveway? Jesus, where is this house anyway?
4:49: Holy mother of God...she lives in a museum.
4:58: I. Hate. Unpaved. Roads.
5:10: Sweatpants and a t-shirt from 1998 = Awesome.

September 8, 2009

Grace in Small Things - 8/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Tuesday, September 08, 2009 2 comments
1. My sister's graduation present. Dan and I are taking her to the Magic Kingdom. I can't wait!

2. Sam Trammell who plays Sam Merlotte on True Blood. I really, really want to smooch him. Really.



I have dreams about it and everything. He tastes like Jack and Coke. My dreams are Vivid (and yes, that's intentional capitalization because I'm cheeky).

3.New drinks at Starbucks. I'm pretty straightforward when it comes to my drink order - nonfat, no whip vanilla latte, but this weekend, I tried both the Pumpkin Spice chai and the espresso truffle and now, I am in love. So good.

4. Ploughman's Pickle sandwiches. English, totally delicious (despite that face Dan made when he opened the jar for me and took a whiff of the pickley goodness within) and available for me to munch on at all times since I bought a jar of the stuff at Wegman's. Mmmm...English food.

5. Cinnamon-Struesel candles burning in a clean apartment.

6. Supernatural. Dan picked up the first season on DVD yesterday and we blew through three episodes by bedtime. It's like a younger X-Files that focuses less on little green men and more on things that go bump in the night. Smart, well-written and legitimately creepy. I'm a fan.

September 5, 2009

I got married at the Chapel O' Love....?!

Posted by Miss Jaime at Saturday, September 05, 2009 5 comments
Dan and I had another conversation about weddings last night and it ended where it always ends -- up in the air.

The wedding industrial complex is a money-hungry beast intent on devouring every last red cent you have...and unbelievably enough, people are more than willing to feed it.

There's the ceremony, the location for the reception, the caterer, the open bar, the DJ, the rings, the dress, the suit, the invitations, the flowers, the photographer, the favors and a litany of other things I'm sure I'm forgetting.

According to CostofWedding.com, the average price of a wedding in my zip code is between $39,164 and $65,274.

What. The. Fuck?

That's a salary. That's actually more than a salary to some people. And it all goes towards one day.

Wow...

So, let's do a line by line breakdown of how much it would cost for your neighborhood friendly blogger to get married, shall we?

Ceremony: Dan and I would actually save money here since we're planning a completely secular union. Not holding the ceremony in a church or paying a pandit to tell us when to walk around a fire = cash in pocket. Sweet. Of course, we might regret this decision when we're roasting in the fiery pits of hell or when we're reincarnated as tapeworms, but for right now -- we're golden.

Reception Location: Our biggest problem here is finding a convenient location for both his family (who live in Pennsylvania) and my family (who live in Florida). Initially, I thought Florida would work as a viable option because his family could come for the wedding and stay for the theme parks. However, once I realized how inconvenient (and expensive) it would be for me to tour the facility and meet with caterers, DJs and photographers - I put the kibosh on it. A good location is also pretty costly -- most I've seen start at $1000 and it's more if you want to get married on a weekend (which we do).

CostofWedding.com says:

$1,680-$2,800

Caterer: We need a caterer who cooks good vegetarian food. When half of your guests are vegetarians, a pasta and grilled veggie plate just isn't going to cut it. If I was definitely getting married in Philly, I would have Palace at the Ben cater the affair -- not only would they make the Indian contingent happy, but their rates are 50% less than most other caterers.

$65 a person (non-vegetarian catering) x 60 = $3,900
$25 a person (vegetarian) x 40 = $1000

Total: $4,900

Open Bar: No question about it, you need an open bar at your wedding. No bar = no fun = everyone hates you = you die alone and friendless. While I'm a big advocate of getting my friends and family hammered, it's an expensive endeavor. Remember that time you got bombed on Jager and bought everyone a round? Times that by 100. Yeah.

CostofWedding.com says:

$3,059-$5,098

The DJ: Any DJ who relies on the Chicken Dance and the Electric Slide should be taken out back and drowned in a puddle. I don't need Steve Aoki or Samantha Ronson to spin at my wedding, but I want someone who can effortlessly segue between Motown, classic rock, pop, the standards and R&B. I'm totally serious about that Chicken Dance thing, by the way. I fully plan on having a ClearChannel-esque Do Not Play list and God help the poor bastard if he ignores it. I'll stab him with the cake topper.

CostofWedding.com says:

$864-$1,436

The Rings: I don't need something from Tiffany's and I'm pretty sure Dan doesn't either.

CostofWedding.com says:

Bride: $1,367-$2,278
Groom: $1,098-$1,831

Total: $2,465 (if we went with the cheapest option)

Wardrobe: In a perfect world, this would be my wedding dress:




Unfortunately, this is the real world and in the real world, I am not BFF with John Galliano. Damn.

$395 for this dress
$350 for accessories (shoes and jewelry)
$400 for Dan's suit
$200 for accessories (tie, cufflinks, shoes)
Hair (according to CostofWedding): $102-$170
Make-Up: (according to CostofWedding): $81-$135
Manicure/Pedicure (according to CostofWedding): $66-110

Total: $1,594 (if we went with the cheapest options)

Invitations: I'm picky when it comes to typography and graphic design, so I want cool invitations. Not cardstock with garish Lucida text screaming at me. Two of the best ones I've seen online feature a pretzel twisted into the shape of a heart (so Philly) and one that resembles the tracklist of a mix-tape. Awesome and original. In addition to invitations, you also need place cards and thank you cards. Sorry, Rainforest.

CostofWedding says:

Invitations: $356-$594
Place Cards: $19.99 at moo.com
Thank You Cards: $98-$164

Total: $473.99 (if we went with the cheapest options)

Flowers: I'm not a flower person at all. I have a black thumb, not a green one and don't really see the point of having a bouquet. That nets us a saving of $196-$327 (and sidebar: for flowers?! Seriously?! They're going to die in less than 24 hours!)

Photographer: Another thing I'm picky about. I took a photography class in college and realized there's way more to it than pointing and shooting. It's incredibly technical and a good photographer is hard to find. Besides, if this is themostimportantdayofyourlife®, you probably want to be well-lit.

CostofWedding says:

$1,875-$3,124

Favors: We're doing mix CDs of music heard at the wedding as well as a few of our favorite tracks. Why? It's personal, cheap and honestly, no-one really cares about those crappy little candles.

100 Blank CDs: $30
100 CD Jewel Cases: $36.99

Total: $66.99

So, the grand total for our wedding so far:

Location: $1,680
Food: $4,900
Bar: $3,059
DJ: $864
Rings: $2,465
Wardrobe: $1,594
Invitations/Paper Goods: $473.99
Photographer: $1,875
Favors: $66.99

Grand Total: $16,977.98...and that's leaving a whole bunch of stuff out (gifts for the wedding party, save-the-date magnets, airfare if we hold the wedding in Florida...).

Seventeen thousand dollars.

The financial burden usually falls on the bride's family, but this bride-to-be? My parents are small business-owners in a lousy economy. They've got a mortgage and car payments like everyone else. You really think I'm going to ask them to pony up $17K? Come on, that's a dick move.

So, $17,000+. We could buy a new car, put some money down for a house, buy awesome new furniture, travel around Europe or we could have a wedding. I realize that when you get married, you get some of the money back but this isn't Goodfellas. We're not going be making $17K back. No way.

Do I want a wedding? Yes.
Can I afford one? No.

Life's tough. Get a helmet.

Fat Elvis impersonator, here we come....

September 3, 2009

Herman Melville was such an overlooked nobody when he was alive that when he died, his obituary reported his name as Henry Melville

Posted by Miss Jaime at Thursday, September 03, 2009 1 comments
"I'm a rock critic. I also write and record music. I write poetry, fiction, straight journalism, unstraight journalism, beatnik drivel, mortifying love letters, death threats to white jazz critics signed "The Mau Maus of East Harlem," and once a year my own obituary (latest entry: "He was promising...")." - Lester Bangs.

While I am not a rock critic nor musician, I do consider myself a writer. I write fiction, scripts, straight journalism, blog posts, television recaps about truly awful shows, poetry so bad it would impress the Vogons, frothing, foaming emails about how I would like advocates of creationism to be consumed by a hoard of rabid, starving raptors and notes inside greeting cards which fall just short of being clever.

As Mr. Bangs' work is inclined to do, it got me thinking.

I've read entirely too many of my high school classmates' obituaries and I'm struck by two things.

One -- I'm way too young to be reading an obit for someone who sat behind me in biology class.
Two -- Obits are, as a general rule, total bullshit.

They're soft-focus memories of a person coupled with generic writing that could be about anyone. I'm sure they're done with the best intentions and can be comforting in times of grief, but I'd much rather memorialize someone for a unique attribute (like wearing plaid golf pants every day in eighth grade) than the fact that he was an accountant.

So, I'm taking a page out of Bangs' book and writing my own.

Am I tempting fate by doing this? I hope not. I want to live to be an old woman with skin like paper with a penchant for wearing Pucci caftans and making great cookies (I'm still working on the cookie thing and you know I've realized? The doughboy is my homeboy).

Is it morbid to write your own obit? Sure, but I think I know myself better than anyone else does and I'd much rather go out in my own words than anyone else's.

August 26, 2009

If Twitter Wasn't Firewalled...

Posted by Miss Jaime at Wednesday, August 26, 2009 3 comments
Here's what I'd be saying.

And yes, I realize that I could just as easily Twitter from my Blackberry, but I stil haven't gotten used to the keys and predictive texting makes me want to punch cute little woodland creatures. In the face. Repeatedly.
So anyway....

9:40: Dan just sent me the following:



Steven Tyler looks horrible.

9:40: To which I responded:



Steven Tyler looks like Rachel Zoe in ten years.

Seriously – dude looks like a lady….who lunches on Palm Beach Island.

9:41: In all honesty, though? I wish I could dress like Rachel Zoe. On me, though? It would definitely look like Drunken Palm Beach Lady Who Lunches.
10:08: I want a huge cup of coffee.
10:08: 20 oz. Frosty Cold. Illy. One Cream. Two Brown Sugars.
10:09: Oooh....and a bagel! Multigrain with butter.
10:10: From here - Brooklyn Water Bagels. I can't wait for Christmas in South Florida!
11:04: Spend 15 minutes composing a mini travel guide for a co-worker's trip to London. I should be in London right now - Wandering city streets, spending entirely too much time in museums and used bookstores, hanging out with the Trans-Atlantic Best Friend and eating Ploughman's Pickle sandwiches at an absurd rate (and yes, I know Twitter would have punted me a long time ago for exceeding the 140 character limit, but since I'm using Google Docs, I see no need to be slavish to the form. And by the by? Google Docs? I love you. You're totally my BFFE!)
11:20: I think about food a lot.
11:29: I just spent three minutes spelling 'org' on the phone. That's a minute a letter. It shouldn't be that hard...
11:34: And we're back to food again thanks to this article. Crisp sandwiches, tons of cheese, frozen peas, fried spaghetti and marmite? Definitely my people.
12:03: According to Twilight, the smell of Bella's blood gives Edward a vamp woody. That being said, what happens when during Bella's 'time of the month'? Priapism? Anyone care to shed some light on this -- Stephanie Meyer, Dana, Joss Whedon, Alan Ball, Kevin Williamson....?
1:24: Megan Fox as Catwoman in Nolan's next Batman installment? I call shenanigans.
1:25: I mean, there's no way Nolan would ever cast her. She sucks.
1:27: There go the wet dreams of a thousand men...
2:15: Why does the office smell like a Cosmo? The drink, not the magazine or the Seinfeld character.
3:27: I have Under My Thumb by The Rolling Stones stuck in my head.
3:40: Just help decorate my co-worker's office with pictures of cartoon pickles. I love my office.
4:15: Knock off in ten and then, quality time with Raymond Chandler while I wait for Dan.

August 24, 2009

Grace in Small Things - 7/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Monday, August 24, 2009 0 comments
1. Finding $20 in a library book!
2. My So-Called Life on Hulu. Watching this show makes me wish I had attended a Northeastern high school in the early 90s.
3. Rainbow cookies....which are actually more like mini cakes than cookies. I especially like the kind make with raspberry preserves. Fabulous!



4. Kings of Leon.
5. The return of Top Chef and Season Five pool - Pick your favorite cheftestant and if they make it all the way -- you go out to Happy Hour and everyone buys you drinks! Best. Game. Ever. Although, if I win -- everyone gets off easy. I'm a featherweight.
6. The Goonies. Dan and I saw a midnight screening in Philly a few weeks ago and it was incredible! Definitely in my top ten of all time.

August 15, 2009

You fail at the internet. See also: Life.

Posted by Miss Jaime at Saturday, August 15, 2009 0 comments
For the past few months, this woman has been cc'ing me about this trip to Russia -- some student program out of Massachusetts involving presentations and meetings and all sorts of mundane stuff I really don't care about.

It's obviously a case of mistaken identity, so I've emailed her a few times stating that I'm not the intended recipient of this email chain and I'd really appreciate it if she take me off this list.

I get another email from her yesterday and within the hour, five more people had hit 'reply all', flooding my inbox with information I do not need, do not want and do not care about.

My response: "Please please please please please take me off this list."

Lots of pleases because I'm English and all about minding my Ps and Qs.

I get an email back from her today saying, "I don’t think you got this information. We really do need to meet this other Jaime, but boy does she seem like a bi...."

Genius that she is (keep in mind she's an educational program director) - she sent this to the Other Jaime . I.E. -- Me.

Awesome! Nothing like being roundly insulted by a stranger to get your weekend off to a good start!

Firstly, I'm shocked that there's someone else out there with the same name as me. Google only brings back hits that relate to me.

Secondly, if you're going to insult someone over email -- shouldn't you double-check the address? I mean, seriously.

This women is the director of a higher-level education program. I weep for the future...

August 7, 2009

Dear Carrie Bradshaw

Posted by Miss Jaime at Friday, August 07, 2009 0 comments
Hi!

I'm Jaime and I'm a huge fan.

Granted, I find your punny writing somewhat obnoxious, think you're batshit insane for picking any man over Ron Livingsto...I mean, Jack Berger, have no idea how you possibly subsidize your Manolo-and-kickass-NYC-Brownstone life on a columnist's salary (I'm guessing you're probably spending lots of time underneath Republican politicians) and think some of your sartorial choices are truly wanky. Case in point:



The Dirndl dress. Really, Carrie? Really? And sidebar, this picture is 66.6 kb and I totally think that's a sign, but anyway -- apart from all that...

....OK. OK, so I'm not a huge fan, but I have a shoe dilemma and honestly, can you think of a better person to help me than a fictional fashionista with a shoe fetish?

That's what I thought.

I need a pair of boots with the following specifications:

- Affordable - $50 or less.
- Preferably black.
- Small heel -- I don't want to go completely flat because I'm pocket-sized as is and I don't want sky-high heels because I'm not a hooker.
- Relatively comfortable - because I'll be wearing them for nine hours a day.
- Suitable to wear with both jeans and business casual
- Mid-calf length - no booties, no ankle boots, no knee-highs.

So, there's your mission. Good luck and if you happen to see Berger around, send him my way. I've got a thing or two I wanna show that guy....

Thanks!

Lots of love:

Jaime xx

August 4, 2009

Grace In Small Things - 6/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Tuesday, August 04, 2009 2 comments
1. Finding a cute birthday present for my sister. I just hope she finds it as adorable as I do.

2. Stirrings Lemon Drop Mixer + tonic water + passion fruit flavored vodka on the rocks. I'm calling it a Sunsplash and suggesting everyone try one.

3. December 16-29 in Florida. I'm stoked!

4. The B.S. Report with Bill Simmons. Perfect for the treadmill because before you know it, you've listened to the entire podcast, laughed your ass off and managed to sneak in a pretty good work-out. Thanks, Sports Guy!

5. Sweet-Spicy-Salty Oyster Crackers -- my favorite new snack. Here's the recipe. I don't have pictures because they're never around long enough for me to actually take them.

Ingredients

1 cup oyster crackers
1 tablespoon canola oil
Pinch of cumin seeds
Pinch of salt (to taste but be careful because oyster crackers are kinda salty to begin with)
Pinch of sugar (to taste but be careful because if you add too much, the sugar will burn, stick to the bottom of the pan and you'll end up with an inedible mess instead of a tasty snack)
Pinch of hot cayenne pepper (to taste but again be careful because you know what's awesome? Not searing off all of the taste receptors in your mouth)

Directions

Heat oil in saucepan.
Once hot, add cumin seeds and let sizzle (this takes a few minutes).
Add cayenne pepper and let sizzle.
Add salt and sugar and shake mixture.
Add oyster crackers and fold until crackers are covered in spice mixture.
Turn off heat and let sit for two or three minutes.
Enjoy!

Serve with a cold drink and good movie/television show.

August 2, 2009

Fall Scene

Posted by Miss Jaime at Sunday, August 02, 2009 2 comments

Fall Scene, originally uploaded by LB2556.

I have been living in the north entirely too long because I'm actually looking forward to fall.

Me -- the girl of perpetual summer (although I do love Florida winters - hoodies and flip-flops )

A nip in the air that makes you snuggle deeper into your hoodie, running around with Ryely on sun-splashed chilly days, seasonal hot coffee, the bright blush of the leaves, football season, the way the stars seem brighter and more crystalline in cold weather, wearing boots (when have I ever favored boots over flip-flops? Pennsylvania, what are you doing to me?), sweatpants, new fall television (Dollhouse and Fringe come back!), Thanksgiving, sleeping in on cold Sunday mornings and cuddling under the covers.

It's been a great summer and it's going to be a lovely fall...

July 28, 2009

Grace In Small Things - 5/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Tuesday, July 28, 2009 2 comments
Today has been a rough one and since I'm all emotional disheveled, I figure I should take stock of the good things.

1. Homemade pizza. I've found that it tastes so much better than take-out.

2. My cute new scarf from Forever 21.



3. 500 Days of Summer. Honest, funny, sharp and well-written with an incredible soundtrack, it's the best movie I've seen this year and it makes me want to move to Los Angeles so, so badly...



4. Boots Mint, Melon and Sugar Body Scrub - It smells like candy and results in smooth, seriously moisturized skin. Best of all, it's available at Target! God, I love that store.

5. Why Georgia by John Mayer feat. Brad Paisley -- Love the original, but love the cover even more.

John Mayer and Brad Paisley - Why Georgia (Live)


It makes me feel safe, if that makes any sense at all.


July 27, 2009

1095 Days of Love

Posted by Miss Jaime at Monday, July 27, 2009 2 comments
The perfect anniversary is spent wandering around the Philadelphia Art Museum -- falling in love with the paintings, the architecture and your guy, all over again. It's little moments that make your day - singing together in the car - kinda off-key, Illy coffee in 85 degree heat, an Edward Hopper print, sitting on the steps, looking out at Old City and not wanting to be anywhere else in the world.

It's Turkish food in a secluded oasis - cold mezes, rich olive oil, flaky baskets of phyllo and the best falafel in the city. It's being with a guy who indulges your culinary whims, despite being a meat and potatoes man.



It's 500 Days of Summer in the popcorn-scented darkness, the taste of real Coca-Coca, holding hands and developing respective crushes on Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt. It's parking garage kisses and heat lightning. It's summer storms, giggling in the car and running in from the rain.

It's 1095 days of love and knowing that there are so many more to come.

Happy anniversary, pookie. I love you. Always will.


July 23, 2009

My sister and I should be in charge of programming at MTV

Posted by Miss Jaime at Thursday, July 23, 2009 0 comments


Sarika: Oh Christ. How are birthers getting so much airtime?!
Jaime: I don't know -- I mean, why are we even legitimizing their bullshit? I'm just going to start making up baseless rumors.
Sarika: Seriously, you'll get on cable news in minutes
Jaime: Sean Hannity was born a black woman in antebellum Mississippi

Sarika: Nah, stick with unknown repubs, get them some airtime. That dude who was on the Real World is running for the house as a conservative republican that's actually true
Jaime: NO WAY!
Sarika: yep, the one from boston season. the guy who was a lumberjack
Jaime: Oh! Sean!
Sarika: http://3pts.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/ashland-county-district-attorney-sean-duffy-likely-to-run-for-congress/
Jaime: He married Rachel from RW 3 -- the Cuban Republican
Sarika: oh geez, well, he's running against a popular republican so he'll probably lose
Jaime: I don't know -- people are stupid and easily lead
Sarika: popular democrat* sorry
Jaime: Especially young people
Sarika: also, apparently, a lot of people in DC are pissed about the real world cast being there
Jaime: Although that season was a while ago, so who knows? They might not even know him!
Sarika: Probably, considering that he didn't have a three way in a hot tub while trying to further his rap career
Jaime: Career? Please! You know how much money those idiots make on the lecture circuit?
Sarika: Wait, seriously? Why the hell would anyone want them to lecture about ANYTHING?
Jaime: Go on real world and then, bum around for the next ten years doing club appearances and lectures

Sarika: Part of me wants to go on the show and just ruin things
Jaime: Yep -- they visit colleges all over the place and talk about their experiences. How so?
Sarika: like when people are having an argument go into the room and start singing or yelling loudly. that'll piss not only the roommates off, but the editors too.
Jaime: Start stumping for some insane political ideal -- "WHIG PARTY FOREVER!"
Sarika: so they can't use the footage
Jaime: Or just use a bunch of copyrighted terms -- "Oh Coca-Cola! You ARE the real thing!""Nike, you Just Do It better than the rest!"
Sarika: And paint things on the walls, like arbitrary political slogans -"Tippecanoe and Tyler too!""McGovern 72!"
Jaime: I Like Ike!
Sarika: Now you're getting it!
Jaime: God, that would be my favorite season ever
Sarika: I want to make it impossible to use any of my footage. And then ruin others' on air time
Jaime: Also, you should ask the blindingly obvious questions that the audience is screaming at the television - "So, hooked up with a married guy, huh? How's that being a whore thing treating you?"
Sarika: "Why are you yelling about a Snapple? is it because the camera is there?"
Jaime: "It's a good thing they're blurring your genitals because they're embarrassingly small."
Sarika: "do you really think your rap career will succeed? you're not very good.""no, NOT using a condom is the number one contributor to pregnancy"
Jaime: "You're just kissing that girl to get back at your father for not being around..."
Sarika: "why are you talking about gay marriage? you're completely politically uninformed. do you even know who your congressman is?"

Sarika: have you noticed that people's names on that show are getting more and more strange?
Jaime: Oh sweet Jesus, they're SO bad
Sarika: Khymmberlie. I made that up, but it is possible
Jaime: Ayiiaa. I didn't make that one up
Sarika: This season, i saw a commercial for it, there's a girl named Aiyaa. Yeah! Something like that, I knew it. TOO MANY VOWELS
Jaime: Cohutta. I KNOW!
Sarika: Brawny! That's an adjective!
Jaime: The quilted quicker picker upper or Connecticut WASP? You decide!
Sarika: I want there to be people who are in school on that show or working
Jaime: Kaia -- whose real name was Margaret. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. God, I'm tired of being a chubby outcast. Can you turn me into a pseudo-intellectual bulimic hipster with a ridiculous name?
Sarika: prayer answered
Jaime: I want that show to return to its roots -- first season, they lived in a cool loft, actually talked about things besides sex and had some diversity. Now? Generic hot people all vying for STDs and camera time
Sarika: I am going to go on now. i won't smoke, drink, or cause any drama. i will be non confrontational, but will paint copyrighted slogans everywhere and will play mind games with everyone by being entirely normal. i will find a job and ruin this show.
Jaime: Also, you can sing Prince songs EVERY time you're on camera. He's a litigious little leprechaun. They'll never be able to air that footage.

July 20, 2009

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person

Posted by Miss Jaime at Monday, July 20, 2009 0 comments


I love you, Nala girl. You were my stinky little princess and I'm going to miss you like crazy.

And honestly, how heartbreaking is that turtles live for 100 years and dogs only live for 15?

Rest in peace, girl. I'll be seein' ya...

July 19, 2009

Grace in Small Things - 4/365

Posted by Miss Jaime at Sunday, July 19, 2009 0 comments
1. Cute new green and silver flip flops
2. Making anniversary plans -- Turkish food, the Art Museum....
3. The public library. I cannot stress how much I love the public library. I was there for two hours yesterday and picked up two Bourdain books (No Reservations and The Nasty Bits), The Last Tycoon by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Don't You Forget About Me by Jancee Dunn (I have a crush on pretty much every Rolling Stone writer), The Best Food Writing - 2007, Not Remotely Controlled by Lee Siegel and The Sharper The Knife, The Less You Cry by Kathleen Flinn. I've already finished the last one. Good times.
4. Momiji Dolls



They're ridiculously cute.
5. Lunch for one -- sitting in the sunshine, reading and munching on Cosi's flatbread hummus sandwiches. I need to do this more often.
6. Watching Goodfellas with Dan and talking about the mob and its culture of violence.

July 14, 2009

Why don't you come up and see me sometime...?

Posted by Miss Jaime at Tuesday, July 14, 2009 0 comments

Hello lover...

 

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