I'm saving my sick-days till when I'm feeling better.

I've been sick for the past couple of days (just a cold and not the hye-nye...I hope) and as a result, I've been a bit of a grouchy bastard.

Bound to happen, really. I mean, my throat feel like someone vigorously attacked it with a cheese grater, my head feel like an orange on a toothpick and I have about as much energy as an extra from Dawn of the Dead. You'd be a grouchy bastard too.

So, to make up for all that bad mojo, here is a list of unrelated things that make me feel like less of a grouchy bastard and more like my cheerful, sunny self:

- The phrase 'Grouchy bastard.'
- Dan going on Wawa runs for me and coming home with hot chocolate and soft pretzels. I love that man.
- Soft pretzels from the Philly Pretzel Factory. They're even better when they're slightly burned. Mmmm....
- Hoodies, jeans and flip-flops and weather that facilitates the wearing of the aforementioned (mid 60s and sunny).
- The way sunlight sparkles through leaves.
- Realizing there is an applicable Simpsons quote for pretty much every situation.
- Any conversation with my sister.
- Finding really old mix CDs in your car -- I still love-love-love Something Corporate.
- French fries from Five Guys. Perfectly salted, crunchy and best of all, they actually taste like potatoes.
- The Guardian's Word of Mouth blog.
- The smell of cedar smoke.
- Clean-smelling cologne. We had some suits in the office a few weeks ago and while none of them were particularly attractive, they smelled amazing and actually had me swooning for a second. Chalk it up to the power of Hugo Boss.
- Boston Terriers. Especially cuddly ones with overbites



- Adam Carolla.
- The return of Fringe. I'm so glad that Joshua Jackson is back on television again.
- The B.S. Report with Bill Simmons.
- American Eagle T-Shirts. So comfy.
- Making faces with my nieces. Theirs are always so much cuter than mine.
- Balsamic vinegar drizzled on pizza.
- Listening to Norah Jones on a rainy afternoon.
- Smokey Robinson's cover of Don't Know Why.
- Forehead kisses.
- Gin cocktails.
- Charles Bukowski's poetry.
- My tumblr. It's a virtual inspiration board and I kinda love/need that.
- Andrea of Caffeinate Me. She inspired this post, she's one of my favorite bloggers and the girl has kickass taste in pretty much everything ever.

A through Zed

Since I managed to get the meeting from hell scheduled (sidebar: You know you're spending entirely too much time at the office when you know your boss' cell phone number better than your fiance's), I'm taking a time-out to read about tonight's debate, talk to McGillis about politics, the polarization of the country, religion and Lexington Steele and waste my time with stuff like this:

A. Attached or single?
Attached. We drive to work together and spend pretty much all of our time with one another. You'd think this would be boring, but after spending a year living 1000 miles apart -- it's actually pretty fabulous.

B. Best friend?
I have many -- Dan (obviously), The Best Friend (he didn't just get the name out of nowhere), Sobia (The Transatlantic Best Friend), Dana and my sister.

C. Cake or pie?
Pie -- Cherry with a marzipan-and-almond crumb topping served warm with vanilla bean ice cream and a cup of good, strong coffee. Oh sweet Lord, I am so hungry....

D. Day of choice?
Saturday -- I hit the library (confessions of a nerd: I actually made a librarian chortle at my nerdiness when I was last at the library. I found a Toure's Never Drank The Kool-Aid, gasped loudly and leapt upon it with entirely too much eagerness. A librarian caught this display of dorkery and cracked up), I wear comfy clothes and I catch up on DVR'd TV. I get to do things I want to do as opposed to things I have to do.

E. Essential item?
At work -- it's Google. Reader + my personalized homepage makes my life so much happier and easier. At home -- my flat-iron. Having straight hair makes me more psychologically stable. Yes, I am aware of the fact that I'm both superficial and insane.

F. Favourite colour?
Pink

G. Gummy bears or worms?
Both but neither compare to the black Jelly Babies. Unlike the black jelly beans you find here in the States, black Jelly Babies are not an unholy vortex of fail.

H. Hometown?
Southall, England - famed for Bend It Like Beckham, a vast and cacaphonous population of South Asian immigrants and essentially, being a complete and utter shithole. Also, West Palm Beach, Florida. Also known as the Five-Six-Ace in the Gunshine State.

I. Indulgence?
Terrible food -- frozen pizza, jalapeno-flavored Kettle chips (I had both last night! I don't know who Tony is, but he makes a terrible pizza), peanut-butter filled pretzels, gummi cola bottles. I'm a fat girl in a small girl's body.

J. January or July?
July -- the 4th, the Best Friend's birthday, my anniversary. Good times all around.

K. Kids?
Let's wait five years before we start on that, shall we? Although, Dan and I have started talking about potential names. We don't agree on a single one.

L. Life isn’t complete without?
Great people, even better music, fruity margaritas, cute shoes, Lost, Ron Livingston, used bookstores and good food.

M. Marriage date?
July 2010...I hope. I'm having that "Down Payment for a house vs. wedding" debate right now and the house seems to be winning.

N. Number of brothers & sisters?
Just the one. She's awesome, passionate, funny, smart and hopefully, will be visiting me this winter!


O. Oranges or apples?
Apples -- really tart Granny Smith ones that make your mouth pucker.


P. Phobias?
I hate clowns. Even more creepy are the guys who wear clown make-up underneath their masks. Who does that?! I mean, seriously?!

Q. Quotes?
One of my favorites from NewsRadio -- a thoroughly underrated show:

[Reading cards from the complaint box]
Dave: "You suck." "You suck." "Howard Stern rules." "If you can read this you are a dork." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl." "We need more complaint cards." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a guy."
Joe: Hey.
Dave: [pulling out a fortune cookie slip] "You will go on a journey, happy long time." "Matthew is a moron." "No I'm not." "Yes you are." "No I'm not infinity." "Yes you are infinity plus one." And this one, "I have doobie in my funk," which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, "Chocolate City." Uh, "You got peanut butter in my chocolate. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. Together they taste like crap." "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I love it." I don't think I get this one, it says, "I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
Lisa: I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor.
Dave: Oh. Refrigem... oh, then that one's legitimate.
[continues reading the complaint cards]
Dave: Uh, "Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks."
Bill, Beth, Lisa, Matthew, Joe: SHAFT.
Bill: I thought we'd all enjoy that.
Dave: [reading one last card] And, "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a complaint box," which is actually kinda funny.

R. Reasons to smile?
Friday = Happy Hour and $5 margaritas. If that doesn't make you smile, you're pretty much soulless.

S. Season of choice?
Spring...around May when it starts to get warm again. Everything looks so pretty, you can bust out the flip-flops and you get to start eating dinner outside again.

T. Tag seven peeps!
Ummm, no. And for the record, unless you're talking about marshmallow Easter candy, there is no reason to use the word, 'peeps.'

U. Unknown fact about you?
I have wildly mundane dreams. Last night, I dreamt I was making a tour documentary about Bryan Adams. We stopped an urban high school and amazingly, the kids loved him. I dreamt this, ladies and gentlemen. Making a tour documentary about Bryan Adams was one of my dreams.

V. Vegetable?
I can't pick one. I'm a veggie polygamist of the worst kind.

W. Worst habits?
I pick my nails

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
Both depending on what was wrong with me. And for the record, total cop out on both this and the next one. X should have been X-Men (Magneto -- he has the best backstory ever).

Y. Your favourite food?
Pizza. I've eaten gourmet in swanky Italian places, Mack and Manco's (a cult fave down the Jersey Shore) and frozen $0.88 pies from Target and you know what? They're all delicious....except for Tony's. That man makes an awful, awful pizza.

Z. Zodiac sign?
Pisces. I exhibit pretty much all the tendencies of my sign -- creative, dreamy and soft like ice cream.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm stuck at work for the next hour-and-a-half, so I'm doing what any girl would do -- stealing from the fabulous Miss Drea.

Maybe I should actually start writing that novel I've been putting off for the past six years. Start planning my wedding. Note to self -- buy a wedding planning book and call the Hard Rock Hotel ASAP.

I love the smell of Boss by Hugo Boss even though it reminds me of my dickbag ex. I also love the smell inside Barnes and Noble and am currently trying to figure out a way to replicate it in my home. So far, I have a zero percent success rate.

People would say that I’m incredibly perky. Imagine Cass Van Rye toned down like, 80%. That's me.

I don’t understand why Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage aren't held to the same standards as Don Imus. I mean, they're all hate-mongers.

When I wake up in the morning I know Ron Livingston won't be waiting for me with a grande decaf, skinny vanilla latte...but that doesn't mean that I stop hoping for it.

I lost the guitar pick Art Alexakis gave me when I moved from Florida to PA. I'm still kinda bummed about that.

Life is full of great music, movies, food, drink, places and people. And I want to experience as much of it as I possibly can.

My past has been both incredibly sheltered and a wonderful learning experience.

I get annoyed when I'm suckered into arguing about politics or religion.

Parties need at least one Justin Timberlake track, one Earth, Wind and Fire Track and one classic rock anthem like Don't Stop Believin' by Journey to make a memorable night.

I wish to find a sweet bargain at the mall tonight. Hopefully in the shape of a cute new summer dress.

Dogs are ridiculously cute. Especially if they happen to be Boston Terriers like Smashy or Jack Russell mixes like Phoebe.

Cats need to be more like Binx with big personalities and a penchant for playing in the sink.

Tomorrow is Avery's first birthday. I can't believe she's one already.

I have low tolerance for needles. Seriously. I immediately revert into weepy, terrified toddler when confronted with the prospect of an innoculation.

I’m totally terrified of never owning my own home one day. I know, I know. Totally stupid fear, but I really want my own house someday.

I wonder why studios keep paying those two buttholes to keep churning out crap like Disaster Movie and Meet The Spartans.

Never in my life have I gone streaking in the quad.

High school was nothing like the picture John Hughes painted.

When I’m nervous, I jabber like a complete idiot.

One time at a family gathering my sister and I passed a laptop back and forth to convey snarky messages without getting in trouble.

Take my advice and learn to accept what you have. Then learn to love it. If you hate everything, you're only hurting yourself (I'm keeping Drea's answer here because it's awesome and great advice)

Making my bed is a rarity but I'll probably make more of an effort when I get a matching comforter cover.

I'm almost always singing something in my head. Right now, it's Danny Elfman's Batman score.

I’m addicted to Lost, my Google Reader, Coke Zero/Diet Coke and Wawa.

I want a decent job and a cute little house in Los Angeles. Oh and the Lucky Medium Hobo bag in brown...or at least, a pretty good knock-off.

It's Friday. It's hot. I'm tired. Give this girl a cocktail ASAP.

Ramble on. Now's the time. The time is now...

+ I've had Sabra Price Is Right stuck in my head all day. Does anyone remember this SNL sketch? It was from the 1991 season and featured Tom Hanks as a Middle-Eastern Bob Barker. Hilarious. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself:



+ The last time I ate Indian food in PA was a miserable experience. I mean, I may as well have ordered a bowl of failure topped with defeat sprinkles. Almost a year later, I decided to give it another shot and lucked out. I hit up India Garden in West Chester and ordered a classic -- mutter paneer. It was perfect -- not too spicy, they didn't cheap out on the paneer and even the rice was good (as a general rule, I hate rice. It's bland and boring. I realize as an Asian this is akin to treason, but dude seriously? Rice = lame). India Garden -- Generic name, far from generic food. If you're ever in Dub C, check it out.

+ I saw the coolest graffiti I saw on the way back from the mall -- "Harvey Dent, Take Back Gotham!" Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it (handling a digital camera while driving = inevitable death), but I'll try to next time.

+ My new earrings rock. A lot.

+ You know what else rocks? My new hair. I have bangs for the first time ever. They are super cute.

+ Want. Want. Want. Nancy Botwin has one and she's my homegirl. Well, at least she was when she was rockin' the suburbs. Now...well, we'll have to see where she goes.

+ Pauline's Tumblr is pretty awesome. You should check it out.

Looting and polluting is not the way!

I came into the office today to find a 5" thick pile of paper waiting to be copied at my desk. Do you know how much five inches of paper is? It's a lot. I took 5" and turned it into 10" (that's what she said). So, between the small chunk of the Amazon I killed today and all the Hair Insurance I use, I'm pretty sure I'm on Al Gore's hit list.

Speaking of the environment, you know what needs to make a resurgence? Captain Planet. That show was awesome and with everyone being so much more environmentally friendly nowadays, he could easily make a triumphant return.



McGillis and I had a pretty interesting conversation about the show once. Everyone had a cool power except Ma-Ti. Wheeler could shoot fireballs, Kwame could create earthquakes, Linka could summon tornadoes (Oh, Linka. The Cold War thawed everywhere except in your icy heart), Gi could control entire bodies of water and Ma-Ti got the short end of the stick. He was saddled with the power of 'heart' which allowed him to feel and convey emotions. So, basically his power was being emo. Nice. Oh and he gets a monkey too. Great. As McGillis so succinctly put it, "I would have kicked Gaia in the box for giving me a power like that!"

Anyway, Captain Planet? Totally awesome and needs to make a comeback....providing they Rastafy him by 10% (+10 and a cookie to whoever gets that).

Google Reader and Google Docs just became my new BFFE. Not only can I blog from the office but I can also catch up on other people's blogs! It's amazing! Oh and if you haven't already, check out Starting Over @ 24. He's been keeping me entertained all day while I've been copying, stapling and restapling. SO@24 reminds me of Mikey from Swingers...but cooler and more video-game savvy (I'm sure he gets that comparison all the time) and that rocks because when I think about Mikey, I start thinking about Rob (played by the charming Ron Livingston) and from there, my productivity takes a nose-dive and my imagination goes into overdrive.



Oh, Mr. Livingston. I'd double-down on you any day. Too far? Too far.

And lastly, here's some stuff I've been digging lately:

• The new release by Augustana - Can't Love, Can't Hurt. Check out I Still Ain't Over You and Sweet and Low.
• Aussie's Hair Insurance. It works really well.
• Taco Bell's Fruitista Freeze. Strawberries, mangoes and a name that sounds like a fabulous South American dictator. What's not to like?
• Wawa. Made-to-order sandwiches and yummy iced tea? What's not to like?
  
  

It's a warm, sunny day and I'm stuck at my desk until 5:00. So, I'm emptying out my brain like it was my purse:

+ I went 'down da shore' for the first time in my life. Apparently, this is somewhat of a summer tradition if you live in the mid-Atlantic states. Thankfully, it was less like MTV's True Life: I'm a Jersey Shore Girl and more like a pretty chill Memorial Day Weekend. I learned that a good 90% of food at the shore is fried within an inch of its life and if you eat it, your stomach will stage a violent coup. I also learned that pretty much every shop on the boardwalk sells exactly the same merchandise and that the sun harbors a serious grudge against me. I have a forehead the size of a movie screen (regular, not IMAX) and UV rays gun for it after it like Dina Lohan scrambling for her fifteen minutes.

+ Why is Lisa in the final four in Top Chef? She's a mediocre cook and I'm so over her defensive attitude and paranoia. Homegirl messed up rice twice so I'm thinking she needs to pack her knives and GTFO.

+ Speaking of things that need to GTFO, someone needs to forward that memo to the cold I have. I feel like I've been kicked in the head by a menopausal rhino. On the plus side, though? I can totally relate to Denis Leary's love of NyQuil (Google it, kids).

+ I have the same vision as Pam Beesley (20/400) and the same bra size as Rachel Green (you can figure that one out for yourself). I know this because Wikipedia and I are BFFE.

+ I saw the Sex and the City movie opening night and it was an experience unlike any other.

The audience was 90% women. The other 10%? The world's most disconsolate men, men who were way better groomed than I ever will be and one very confused child who was obviously just there for the popcorn (sidebar: $17 for popcorn and two Diet Cokes?! If you're going to rob me blind, at least have the decency to wear a ski mask and corner me in a dark alley). Of this 90%, a good 30% of these women actually dressed up for the screening. Now, being incomparably dorky, I've attended numerous screenings where people dress up like their favorite characters. I've encountered Jedis, Indys and more than a few superheroes but never have I ever witnessed a gaggle of women in cocktail dresses, heels and full make-up at the movies. I have to admit though, it was pretty fabulous. Cocktail dresses should be acceptable attire everywhere. Ditto flip flops (any movement on that yet?).

Speaking of the audience, in addition to unsolicited advice and "sassy" affirmations, I was also subject to raucous whooping whenever all four ladies met on screen, when Carrie wore her famous opening credits tutu dress and when the audience caught a glimpse of her sizable shoe collections (although, I have to admit that I felt a hard jolt of envy when I saw her Louboutins. What? They're delicious).I'm all for interaction to a certain degree (laughter, a gasp during a shocking moment, a sniffle during a particularly tender and touching scene), but come on! This isn't Rocky Horror.

As for the movie itself -- If you're a die-hard fan, you'll probably love it.

If you're a dude who's never seen the show and couldn't tell a Manolo from a pashmina, you'll hate it.

If you're someone who kinda dug the show, appreciated the clothes and watched to catch a glimpse of Ron Livingston (i.e.: me), you'll find it a little long and the kind of movie that requires some serious suspension of disbelief (There's no way Carrie could ever afford her swanky NYC digs or designer labels on a columnist's salary and in all honesty, the characters have become self-parodying charactures of who they were on the show).

But, if you take it for what it is (cinematic cotton candy clothed in coutour), it's a pretty sweet way to spend an evening.

LOST: Eggtown

A bit of an update, so grab a cold beverage and make yourself comfy.

The reason y'all didn't find a Lost recap this morning was because I got a job and unfortunately, it doesn't involve blogging about pop culture minutae. So, the recaps will be a day late (and possibly a buck short), but they'll be there.

Now, let's get to the creamy filling, shall we?

If you haven't seen the episode yet, stop reading this post and head on over to ABC.com where Eggtown is currently streaming in HD.

LINKS:

Hi-res screencaps and audio at Lost Easter Eggs
Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy Blog
Jeff Jensen @ EW.com -- The Trials of Kate

FLASHBACK: Kate Austen



Yeah, post-Island Kate cleans up pretty well. I couldn't even get mad at Dan for openly salivating.

OFF ISLAND:

+ Kate's on trial for arson, assault, fraud, murder and a whole mess of other things. Apparently, almost dying in a plane crash and spending months detained on Wild Monkey Island does not absolve you of your past crimes.

+ Her lawyer suggests bringing Kate's son to the stand to evoke the sympathies of the jury. Kate vehemently disagrees, so instead legal counsel calls Dr. Jack Shephard to the stand. Despite being under oath, Jack feeds the courtroom a pack of lies -- there were only eight survivors of flight 815 (I may have failed every math class I ever took, but even I know this doesn't add up), Kate was a cross between Florence Nightingale and Wonderwoman on the Island and the marshal accompanying Kate back to the States died in the crash. Kate cuts the testimony short and the prosecution gets one last question in -- does Jack love Kate? Jack responds with yet another lie -- he doesn't love Kate. Not anymore.

+ Kate's wheelchair-bound mother comes to visit her daughter. She wants to see her grandson before she dies and won't testify against Kate if she allows this. Kate refuses and surprisingly enough, her mother backs down and doesn't testify. Kate's punishment? Ten years probation in which she can't leave the state. She says that since she has a son, she wouldn't want to do this anyone.

+ Kate comes home (to a remarkably swanky pad. Did that Oceanic settlement kick in already?) to her son. A cute, tow-headed little boy.....named Aaron. That's right, Miss Austen is now Mama Austen to Claire's baby boy. Chew on that.

ON ISLAND:

+ Ben is locked up again...only this time, it's in the same basement that held Locke's father.

+ Miles convinces Kate to help him escape so he can question Ben. They get to Ben's basement (thanks to a little interference via Sawyer) and Miles gives us a little lesson in the nuances between blackmail and extortion by demanding Ben pay up to the tune of $3.2 million dollars. If he does so, Miles will tell his mysterious employer nothing of Ben's existence. This little act of rebellion causes Locke to banish Kate from Team Locke.

+ Kate and Sawyer spend the night together and in a move straight out of my adolescence, they don't end up doing the deed. The next morning, Sawyer expresses relief at the fact that Kate isn't pregnant and when she rebuffs his advances, he tells her that she'll come running back the next time Jack makes her mad. Kate belts him across the face and leaves.

+ Meanwhile, Locke graduates from merely crazy to batshit bananas. He serves up two very different meals for two very different men. Ben got the more classic breakfast option of melon and eggs while newcomer Miles got a spicier dish:



A grenade shoved straight into his mouth. Now that's a spicy meatball!

+ We learn the helicopter transporting Charlotte, Frank, Sayid and Desmond has yet to reach the freighter. More on that next week.

THEORIES:

Claire must be dead because there is no way she'd give up her son.

If Aaron is considered one of the infamous Oceanic Six, that means that Sun must be the last member of this ragtag bunch. Why? Because if she doesn't get off the island, both she and her unborn child will die.


QUESTIONS:

What the hell happened to Claire?

Is Aaron considered one of the Oceanic Six?

Why did Jack lie under oath and say there were only eight survivors from flight 815? I may have failed every math class I ever took, but even I know that doesn't add up.

$3.2 millions seems a bit arbitrary, don't you think? Why did Miles demand that specific amount?

* There are tons of other questions and theories but I watched the show last night at 1:30 a.m. and am currently running on five hours of sleep and no caffeine. A much more entertaining and thorough recap next week. Promise.

OTHER NEWS:

We might have found the perfect apartment. Cross your fingers, guys 'cause seriously? We're like five seconds from pulling a Jewel and living out of our cars.

Dan and I saw the Foo Fighters at the Spectrum last night. A two-hour juggernaut featuring the old stuff, the new stuff, Grohl screaming like a banshee on fire, an acoustic set, the best version of Everlong I've ever heard in my life, the prettiest version of Big Me I've ever heard in my life (featuring Jessy Greene on vocals), a song by drummer Taylor Hawkins, a triangle solo and the Foo Fighters giving the Spectrum the most shit-rockingly awesome goodbye anyone could ever give the venue with a balls-out version of Best of You. My only minor gripe? That My Hero wasn't played in all its electric glory. This girl loves the bombast and that the drums on this track feel like a herd of elephants stampeding through your central nervous system.

The opening acts were Against Me (who we missed because getting into Philly is like crossing a piranha-infested Amazonian lake only ten times more trecherous) and Serj Tankian of System of a Down who made oddball references to Borat and "Beethoven's cunt" and basically sounded just like every SoaD song I've ever heard.

All in all, an amazing show that just reiterated and inflamed my passion for the band and it's remarkably talented lead singer. Guitarist Christ Shiflett and Dave Grohl played duelling guitars for a bit and like I told Dan, if I had been wearing a skirt? Well, let's just say the band would have gotten a free pair of Aerie hipsters.

We drew our own constellations

Job: Did a little research and learned that the job only pays $7 an hour. Couple that with a 50-mile drive everyday and I had to pass. I've got a wedding to pay for and $7/hr just won't cut it. I've also submitted my resume to Southwest Airlines and to a firm looking for a proofreader, so keep that mojo coming.

Valentine's Day: Dan and I will be celebrating our first one together and I'm really excited! It's gonna be lo-fi -- I'm making him a homemade valentine (shut up. They're cute) and we're having dinner at Cosi where we will share s'mores for dessert (S'mores are Dan's new thing and he's become all sorts of experimental with them. His latest culinary concoction? Two Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies sandwiched together with three miniature marshmallows).



He's an amazing guy and every now and then, it'll hit me like a Mack truck. This man, this amazing, passionate, sweet, gorgeous, funny, whip-smart, kind, generous man loves me. Loves me. How did I ever get so lucky?

Rants: I'm feelin' kinda salty, so here goes:

1. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer making money hand-over-fist for creating crap like Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans. They aren't even remotely funny. These two assbags just Cuisinart a bunch of pop culture references and try to pass it off as a movie. It requires NO talent whatsoever. All you need to do that is a horny exec and a mouth that doubles as a vacuum cleaner. And to the morons who actually patronize this crap -- you should all be sterilized for the good of mankind. Seriously. The fact that Meet The Spartans made $28 million domestically makes me ill.

2. Rolling Stone Magazine. Now, we've had some problems in the past, but let me clarify something for you. Darfur? Tragedy. The fact that American troops are being killed needlessly? Tragedy. Having cancer and no health insurance? Tragedy. The life of Britney Spears? Not a tragedy. Yes, the round-the-clock coverage of her breakdown is bang out of order, but let's not cannonize Spears just yet, shall we? You can't deny there's a certain level of spoiled entitlement lurking just below the over-tanned and shiny surface.

Raves: So we don't end this post on a down note:

1. Sawyer's Nickname Generator. Mr. Ford's got a name for everyone on the Island and now, you can get your very own nickname too! According to the generator, I am 'Third Degree.' At least it's not 'Hymen.'



2. Macaroni and Cheese. No nutritional value whatsoever, but when it doesn't come out of a blue box -- it borders on divine.

3. Lost tomorrow night. Apparently the rescuers get a flashback!

The Hills: Meet The Parents + some other random stuff

In case you missed it, you can check the episode out here. If you managed to catch it -- let's discuss:

This week's episode was somewhat mundane but probably had the best quotes so far this season.

Never did I ever think I'd find myself agreeing with Brody Jenner, but the Prince of Malibu made a good point when he said all Spencer's done lately is, "flake out on the homies." I would have used different terminology than Jenner, but I'm not nearly as "hood" as he is -- 90263 represent!

Speaking of great quotes, Lauren hit the nail on the head when she commented in Justin-Bobby's choice of footwear -- "Homeboy wore combat boots to the beach!" Those shoes, Justin-Bobby! Those shoes! Dude, seriously? Combat boots and sandy dunes don't mix. Invest in a nice pair of Reefs, dude. Trust me.

Jamie Cullum's All At Sea was featured this episode! I love that guy and have been a fan for a while. Click here to check out the Twentysomething album. My favorite tracks are These Are The Days, a great cover of Radiohead's High and Dry and the title track.

I actually rather liked Heidi's parents. They seem like really down-to-earth, sweet people. I especially liked how both her mom and her stepfather reiterated pretty much everything that Lauren had said to Heidi before their 'break-up.' You've got smarter people in your life than your 'fiance', Heidi. Maybe you should listen to them.

I am totally in love with the sweater Lauren was wearing at Brody's barbecue.



So if anyone knows who makes it and where to get it -- I'd really appreciate the info. Thanks!

You look like a Pratt: Since Spencer makes such interesting facial expressions, I decided I would be seriously remiss if I didn't devote a section to them. Last week, he made the greatest face upon discovering Heidi had white-washed his mural. My sister and I refer to it as the, "Bitch, I'mma brain you" face.

This week, we were treated to the 'Ken Doll Cannibal' face:



In response to the caption -- No. Dear God, no.

And the greatest thing I've heard on the show so far? Jenner's nickname for Spencer -- "Pratt-Daddy." I think I'm going to start using this term as a synonym for, 'King Douchebag.'

In unrelated news:

George Bluth Sr. was having a love affair with ice-cream sandwiches and I am having a love affair with Wawa coffee. I recommend the chocolate cookie lattes -- they're delicious.

Despite our terrible dining experience this weekend, I did get the cutest picture of The Boyfriend.



Here he is gulping down pitcher after pitcher of water after eating some pretty spicy mattar paneer.

This actually reminded me of The Simpsons episode 'Homer and Apu' when Apu came to stay with the family after Homer got Apu fired from the Kwik-E-Mart. Apu prepares a traditional Indian meal for The Simpsons and after one bite, Lisa's eyes start bugging out and she says, "I can see through time." I'm pretty sure The Boyfriend felt the exact same way.

I'm re-viewing the first season of Weeds on DVD. Love this show (clever writing, fantastic performances and soundtrack) and I'm pretty sure that Mary Louise Parker is the coolest woman ever.



Total Girl Crush. Seriously. If her portrayal of Nancy Botwin doesn't convince you of this, read the following articles by Miss Parker for Esquire magazine. If that doesn't convince, you're an idiot.

These rocks don't lose their shape/Oh, diamonds are a girl's best friend

That is a Tiffany's Lucida engagement ring. It's platinum with a one carat diamond and costs more than my life is worth (possessions and all).

And about four hours ago, Dan's mom and I were oohing-and-ahhing over just how pretty it sat on my left hand.

Oh, that's not good. That's not good at all.