- Like I got into a fight with Mike Tyson (I Will Eat Your Children Mike, not Singing Phil Collins Songs In The Hangover Mike) in which his weapon of choice was a tire iron and mine was a kitten.
- Like a sumo wrestler is sitting on my neck.
- Like I'd probably marry the man who showed up with a hot buttered multigrain bagel (sorry, babe). Or a veggie fajita salad from Chipotle. That would be pretty great too.
- Like Fatty McButterpants.
- Like I need to own more cocktail rings. Preferably, one of those kickass plastic rose rings in a pretty shade of pink or yellow. Of course, I'm completely ignoring fact that they would probably look totally stupid on my child-sized hands.
- That I want to travel more. I've got these travel guides on my Google Docs -- a list of cities I want to visit and all the things I want to do when I get there. Frommers, they are not. My top three things to do in Austin, Texas -- visit the Stevie Ray Vaughan statue at Lady Bird Lake, visit Antone's nightclub and eat at Juan in a Million. Huevos rancheros, margaritas and mmmmmmigas!
- Like I need to reiterate the Fatty McButterpants thing.
- Like the U.S. is going to get their asses handed to them when they play England in the World Cup.
- That Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus are negligent halfwits for allowing their 17-year-old to get a tattoo under her breast.
- Like a sumo wrestler is sitting on my neck.
- Like I'd probably marry the man who showed up with a hot buttered multigrain bagel (sorry, babe). Or a veggie fajita salad from Chipotle. That would be pretty great too.
- Like Fatty McButterpants.
- Like I need to own more cocktail rings. Preferably, one of those kickass plastic rose rings in a pretty shade of pink or yellow. Of course, I'm completely ignoring fact that they would probably look totally stupid on my child-sized hands.
- That I want to travel more. I've got these travel guides on my Google Docs -- a list of cities I want to visit and all the things I want to do when I get there. Frommers, they are not. My top three things to do in Austin, Texas -- visit the Stevie Ray Vaughan statue at Lady Bird Lake, visit Antone's nightclub and eat at Juan in a Million. Huevos rancheros, margaritas and mmmmmmigas!
- Like I need to reiterate the Fatty McButterpants thing.
- Like the U.S. is going to get their asses handed to them when they play England in the World Cup.
- That Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus are negligent halfwits for allowing their 17-year-old to get a tattoo under her breast.
