June 15, 2006

Pudding. What are we not doing?!

Posted by Miss Jaime at Thursday, June 15, 2006
The Best Friend and I just had a 10-minute long discussion about the merits of pudding.

The Best Friend: Pudding's great. You can do so much with it. You can eat it alone. You can put it in a cake. You can put it in a pie. You can have sex with it.
Me: I'm pretty sure you can't have sex with pudding.
The Best Friend: You totally can. In American Pie, that dude had sex with a pie.
Me: Yeah, but pudding's different. Different dessert, different rules.
The Best Friend: You could use it in foreplay.
Me: You could, but then invariably, there'd always be some dude who was more interested in pudding than the woman. It would be like, "Get off the bed, baby! You're taking up valuable pudding room!"

Greg Behrendt's got this great bit about it. He talks about working for the Pudding Board of America and incorporating the slogan, "Pudding. What are we not doing?"

It is truly spectacular.

Back to Dub P tomorrow afternoon. I'm making a mix to listen to on the way down. So far, I've got:

  • She Talks To Angels [Acoustic] -- The Black Crowes
  • All-Day Love Affair -- Cee-Lo
  • Nessun Dorma -- Luciano Pavarotti [in honor of the Three Lions]
  • Bossy -- Kelis feat. Too Short
  • Best Thing You Never Had -- Butch Walker [ download it now]
  • Go -- Common feat. John Mayer

Speaking of Common, I was watching this special on VH1 called Hip Hop Videos: Sexploitation on the Set and it [like entirely too many things these days] made me angry.

Karrine Steffans is a former 'video girl' and wrote a tell-all book about her experiences in the industry. It's hip-hop McCarthyism -- Steffans calls rappers out and makes some serious accusations. She claims she wrote the book because she wants to warn other impressionable young women, but personally, I think this is just a sensational and scandalous way of making damn sure she gets her fifteen minutes.

I mean, seriously. Look at what you're getting yourself into. Have you ever even seen a hip-hop video?! Did you seriously think that sex wouldn't be a major part of the industry? Yes, there should be standards and morals and ethics and all these wonderfully abstract concepts, but come on. Even I'm not that naive and I was raised in the suburbs my whole life.

Another thing that annoyed me about this special was when some douchebag with a camera [calling him a director insults us both] tried to defend laschivious content in hip hop videos by complaining that society was biased against hip hop. According to him, rock videos feature beautiful women as well and aren't castigated nearly as much as hip-hop videos.

Hey Jackhole -- that's because women in rock videos usually wear more than thongs and don't have a posse of meatheads pouring Cristal over their scantily-clad bodies.

This is why I appreciate real hip hop. I don't claim to be a hip-hop head by any small stretch of the imagination, but I do have a genuine love and appreciation for the artform. When it's socially poignant, when it's intelligent, incisive and inventive, when it's a lyrical first kiss and sucker punch to the back of the head. That's when it's real.

When it's bling, bitches and blunts? Yeah...not so much. Don't get me wrong. I dig the boom-boom-squiggy-squiggy beats of Mr. Lil' Jon and the Big Tymers, but given a choice -- I'd much rather listen to Extended F@mm, Talib Kweli and Common. Better beats, much better lyrical content and razor-sharp linguistic gymnastics. As a music junkie, I love it and a writer, it leaves me floored.

Current Infatuations:

  • Come Back To Bed by John Mayer. This dude gets so much unnecessary stick. Not only is he an amazing guitarist, but he has a column in Esquire magazine. Where's your column in Esquire, asshat from Fallout Boy? In fact, where's your musical talent? Anyway, Come Back To Bed is currently in heavy rotation on my iTunes. The line, "Don't hold your love over my head" has been resonating with me as of late and not for the reasons you might think.
  • St. Ives Makeup Remover and Facial Cleanser. It doesn't make my skin angry, which is more than can be said for crunchy peanut butter, bar soap, most lotions and excessive sunlight. Two thumbs up.
  • Matthew Lawrence which only proves that I need to stop watching Boy Meets World reruns.
  • Mangoes. The raw, sour ones. Nothing more perfect or reminiscent of summertime.
So much random rambling. I should probably sleep now.



0 comments on "Pudding. What are we not doing?!"

 

Too Sweet For Rock 'N Roll Copyright © 2009 Girl Music is Designed by Ipietoon Sponsored by Emocutez