Britney on Dateline

No, Barbie. You look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.

I have no sympathy for Spears whatsoever. If anything, this interview further established just how achingly stupid the woman is. Seeing her cry on Dateline didn't evoke sympathy, but rather infuriated me. Instead of appearing on national television and crying, she needs to reevaulate her life.

If you're going to carry your child in your arms, don't wear heels and make sure your pants aren't trailing on the floor. Cobblestone streets, Brit? Come on. It's New York City, not Colonial Williamsburg!

Your child should not, under any circumstances, be seated on your lap when you're driving. Especially if the paparazzi are pursuing you. All it takes is one small tap for the airbag to deploy and that would be a tragedy. One that could have very easily been prevented. Reese Witherspoon, Gwen Stefani and Katie Holmes have all gone through very public pregnancies and haven't made the gaffes she has. There's simply no excuse.

Tell your goddamn husband to get his ass out of the casinos and bars and look after his fuckin' kids...like a real man is supposed to. You might also want to see about getting him neutered. He's got way too many kids already.

According to Spears, she believes in karma. So, pursuing a relationship with a man who left his pregnant girlfriend? No, it won't affect her at all because they're in love. Well, isn't that just peachy. See -- love negates karmic law. It also negates intelligence, apparently. As someone raised with karma has part of her religious doctrine, this just annoys the hell out of me.

And for the love of God -- comb your hair and wash your damn face! This has nothing to do with your maternal ability, your relationship with K-Fed, the fact that you're constantly being pursued by the paparazzi or the fact that you're "country." It's basic human hygiene. Soap, Britney. Lots and lots of soap.

In Other News:

• Damn you, Argentina! 6-nil?! What the hell's all that about?! Damn Argies....God, I hate them. I will never forgive them for the 'Hand of God' atrocity.
• Football can change the world. Don't believe me? Ask anyone from the Ivory Coast.
• Put food in me for I am hungry.