Missed last night's episode? You can either wait for one of the multiple reruns airing on MTV today or you can check it out here.
In this week's episode, we finally figured out the perpetrator of the sex-tape rumor scandal -- a mystery so transparent, the Olsen Twins could have solved it (it's Spencer. Obviously). This week also featured the return of everyone's least favorite tertiary character, Jen Bunney. Being considered useless is one thing. Being considered useless on The Hills? Uncharted territory, there.
Anyway, moving on:
Did anyone notice the Joel Madden and Pete Wentz lookalikes who popped up within the first ten seconds? Why do men emulate these two asshats? They're not remotely attractive nor talented. Fellas -- you want a guy to model yourself after?
How about this guy? Paul Newman. Award-winning actor, director, philanthropist, quite possibly the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth and he was #19 on Richard Nixon's Enemies List. What has Pete Wentz ever done? Flash his junk and title songs with ridiculously long-winded names. He doesn't even begin to compare to Paul Newman.
Why did Heidi look so confused when Brent was talking to her? He was using small words and talking about her job, but judging by the look on Miss Montag's face -- you'd think he was discussing quantum physics in Hebrew. Moments like this are an ice-pick to my heart. Montag has the intellectual capacity of cotton candy and yet, has a job I would sell my kidney for.
I wish I could rock aviators like Lo. She looks cool. I look like I got a 'Little Miss Cop' Playset for Christmas.
See? And while we're on the subject of me looking like a complete idiot -- I really want one of those cashmere shawls Lauren picked out at Diane Merrick. Unfortunately, my bank account doesn't really agree with a $198 purchase right now. Even if it is the cutest shade of pink ever.
Why are the restaurants in Los Angeles so empty? Approximately 9.9 million people in Los Angeles County and none of them seem to frequent any of the numerous spots where the cast choose to dine and drink.
Quote of The Week: "...."
That's it. No quippy soundbyte and no pithy street philosophy from the hardened streets of the Hollywood Hills. Instead, this week's quote pays tribute to any one of the awkward silences featured on the episode. The uncomfortable silence between Jen Bunney and Lauren or the crickets chirping as Heidi struggled to string together a sentence while talking to Spencer.
You Look Like A Pratt!
Meet the Sandy Muzzle -- Pratt's pitiful puss for the week.
In this week's episode, we finally figured out the perpetrator of the sex-tape rumor scandal -- a mystery so transparent, the Olsen Twins could have solved it (it's Spencer. Obviously). This week also featured the return of everyone's least favorite tertiary character, Jen Bunney. Being considered useless is one thing. Being considered useless on The Hills? Uncharted territory, there.
Anyway, moving on:
Did anyone notice the Joel Madden and Pete Wentz lookalikes who popped up within the first ten seconds? Why do men emulate these two asshats? They're not remotely attractive nor talented. Fellas -- you want a guy to model yourself after?
How about this guy? Paul Newman. Award-winning actor, director, philanthropist, quite possibly the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth and he was #19 on Richard Nixon's Enemies List. What has Pete Wentz ever done? Flash his junk and title songs with ridiculously long-winded names. He doesn't even begin to compare to Paul Newman.
Why did Heidi look so confused when Brent was talking to her? He was using small words and talking about her job, but judging by the look on Miss Montag's face -- you'd think he was discussing quantum physics in Hebrew. Moments like this are an ice-pick to my heart. Montag has the intellectual capacity of cotton candy and yet, has a job I would sell my kidney for.
I wish I could rock aviators like Lo. She looks cool. I look like I got a 'Little Miss Cop' Playset for Christmas.
See? And while we're on the subject of me looking like a complete idiot -- I really want one of those cashmere shawls Lauren picked out at Diane Merrick. Unfortunately, my bank account doesn't really agree with a $198 purchase right now. Even if it is the cutest shade of pink ever.
Why are the restaurants in Los Angeles so empty? Approximately 9.9 million people in Los Angeles County and none of them seem to frequent any of the numerous spots where the cast choose to dine and drink.
Quote of The Week: "...."
That's it. No quippy soundbyte and no pithy street philosophy from the hardened streets of the Hollywood Hills. Instead, this week's quote pays tribute to any one of the awkward silences featured on the episode. The uncomfortable silence between Jen Bunney and Lauren or the crickets chirping as Heidi struggled to string together a sentence while talking to Spencer.
You Look Like A Pratt!
Meet the Sandy Muzzle -- Pratt's pitiful puss for the week.
You know when a raccoon (or any feral woodland creature, for that matter) gets into the garbage can and emerges with crap all over face? That's Pratt-Daddy. I'll leave you to make your own allusions.
Oh and while we're on the subject, what do you think the odds are that Spencer's book (a tome on intelligent investing) was chosen strictly for camera purposes? I get the feeling that if it's not cheat codes for video games, Pratt-Daddy doesn't consider it required reading.
Next Week on The Hills: Spencer is a douchebag about another anniversary (Jesus, how many anniversaries do these guys celebrate? They're like Cory and Topanga), Lauren hangs out with a blonde guy with very white teeth and Brody gets a little jealous. Just another day.
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