August 21, 2007

The Hills: Truth and Time Tells All

Posted by Miss Jaime at Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I've become addicted and at this point, it's not even a guilty pleasure anymore. I'll openly admit that I love The Hills. What's not to love? It's marshmallow TV -- it's candy that won't ever fill you up but will leave you with a healthy buzz for a while.

The Boyfriend asked me if I wanted to DVR the show last night (he refuses to watch it because his taste in television doesn't suck). My response?

Me: Oh my God, yes! Did you see what Spencer did to the wall last week? I mean, that mural is the ugliest thing I've ever seen....
The Boyfriend (cutting me off): You know I have no idea what you're talking about, right?

He can wrap his mind around a million different theories concerning Lost, but when it comes to The Hills, the boy is completely clueless. We should leave it that way, though. If he ever started dishing on what Audrina was wearing, I'd be more than a little concerned.

I also have a total girl-crush on Lauren (Girl-Crush [gurl-kruhsh]. N. -- Admiration of a member of the same sex resulting in a desire to go shopping and drink overpriced beverages with said object of affection) and this makes me adore her even more. Unlike the rest of her reality television brethren, Conrad's a class act.

Anyway, my thoughts on last night's episode:

If there was an Eau de Douchebag fragrance, it would smell like our boy, Spencer (I love that is last name is Pratt. Totally apropos considering that in English slang, a prat is among other things, 'a self-aggrandizing, pompous fuck. Someone who is full of themselves and, almost invariably, stupid as well.'). I also hate his hyper-awareness of the camera. The last scene where he started to paint over that fuck-awful mural? So obviously done because of the camera's presence.

And sidenote: That jaw. Dear God, that jaw. You could crack walnuts with it.



The only thing that makes him remotely likable is an affinity for old-school video games, but I get the feeling this kid isn't a real gamer but rather one of those nostalgia-bandwagon-hopping idiots who swears they've always played Duck Hunt.

Can we take a second to talk about Miss Montag's ring?



Yes, I know it's fake but it's the tackiest fake I've ever seen. My niece has much more realistic looking jewelry...and hers is from the Disney Princess collection (she's two-and-a-half).

Oh Lo. That's it -- just oh Lo. You're fabulous, darling. Someone needs to give her a show -- something along the lines of The Look For Less where she wanders around Los Angeles shopping and spouting advice as only she can.

The editing seemed a little off in last night's episode. I understand that it's not really reality, but the meeting between Justin-Bobby, Audrina and Lauren seemed a little funny. Speaking of the dreaded ex, I can kind of understand his appeal but it's such a stereotype -- dirty-artsy bad boy biker. It's right up there with Johnny Football Hero and Boy-Next-Door-Geek.

And finally, can someone please explain the Pinkberry phenomenon to me? I mean, it's just frozen yogurt. How good could it possibly be?

For those of you who didn't catch the episode last night, you can view it here.

1 comments on "The Hills: Truth and Time Tells All"

Anonymous said...

Pinkberry's huge here in LA, maybe it's just a west coast thing.

 

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