Hi. This is your older and wiser self at 24.
The next seven years of your life will be interesting to say the least. You'll lose people, you'll meet new ones, you'll move, you'll change but most of all -- you'll get a much better idea of who you are and trust me -- you'll really like her.
Firstly -- high school doesn't matter. Wait. Let me amend that. The academics matter somewhat, but all the rest of the stuff that's causing you to stress out? Don't even bother.
The yearbook turns out great, you pass your AP exams and prom is such a non-issue and as soon as it's over, you'll wonder:
A) why you fretted so much about it in the first place.
B) why you spent so much damn money.
Buy a cheap and cheerful dress and put the rest of that cash in your Kate Spade bag account (your 24-year-old self really wants one -- preferably from the London line).
The guy you end up going with? Good guy but not the guy for you. Try to remember the lyrics to As Time Goes By when you kiss him (which you will invariably do because he's cute and plays guitar). A kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more.
Speaking of people -- they change. They'll grow and move on and lose touch. It's bound to happen and it's all right. Very few people actually keep the promises they hastily scribble in yearbooks (by the way, an inordinate amount of people make reference to your virginity in your yearbook. Feel free to tell them to fuck off).
There's a tall white kid named Jerry at your school. You kinda know him, but not really. This guy will be the best friend you ever had. You'll end up rooming with him and Paul in college and it will be the best time of your life. Remember Paul's friends, Dana and Jake? They'll become family, just like Jerry and Paul. Think of this as a fabulous reward for all the crap you'll go through in that department in the next couple of years.
Yeah. About that? You're gonna go through a bit of a trial by fire. It all works out in the end, but for a while there -- it's gonna suck. My advice? Call bullshit when you see it and remember that the words 'Welcome' aren't tattooed on your back. You're going to meet someone who basically embodies everything that is wrong and rotten about humanity. Remember that her opinion means nothing and don't let her get to you. Like I said, call bullshit when you see it and you'll be calling it a lot in her case.
As for your love life, I know it's complicated now, but it doesn't have to be. The on-again-off-again drama you've been embroiled in since last year? Let it go. He's a tool and you deserve better. Seriously. Don't answer his calls, stop penning emo bullshit in your journals, turn off the sad bastard music and blast some AC/DC, alright?
Tough love? He doesn't love you and you don't love him. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. Trust me.
All those people who deride your belief in a movie kind of love? They're idiots because it happens and it happens in a big way. You know Dan? The Internet Boy? Rainmann Dan? Yeah -- totally the love of your life. So much so that you move to Pennsylvania to be with him. I know, it sounds insane, but I swear it's true. Oh and in case you're wondering, he's just as cute now as he was in high school. (Proof of how amazing the Internet Boy is? You're gonna win an essay contest. Assbag McGee won't even call to congratulate you. Internet Boy, though? Will offer his genuine praise and congratulations and years later, you'll find a folder of your writing on his computer. Saved files because he thinks so much of your talent. See now why he's the love of your life? Yeah).
What else? Oh -- you find out that you have a bit of a quirky thyroid. Calm down. It's not a big deal -- just switch to decaf and your heart will stop doing that thing where it's trying to stampede out of your chest. You also discover that you're allergic to orange juice. Remember that on your 21st birthday when that last Screwdriver sends you over the edge.
The best advice I can give you is the best advice Kay gave me -- "Just keep writing and you'll be OK." Make sure you keep in touch with him. He's one of the better people in your life.
Oh yeah and one crucially important thing -- dear God, run out right now and buy a flat-iron. Seriously. Stop reading and do it. It'll be the best purchase you ever made and after one use, you'll become emotionally involved and I think your psychological well-being may even end up being connected to the straightness of your hair.
Have fun and when you're at your first Bakesale, keep an eagle-eye on the movements of the fat girl. Your/My ankle will thank you.
Lots of love:
Jaime xx
The next seven years of your life will be interesting to say the least. You'll lose people, you'll meet new ones, you'll move, you'll change but most of all -- you'll get a much better idea of who you are and trust me -- you'll really like her.
Firstly -- high school doesn't matter. Wait. Let me amend that. The academics matter somewhat, but all the rest of the stuff that's causing you to stress out? Don't even bother.
The yearbook turns out great, you pass your AP exams and prom is such a non-issue and as soon as it's over, you'll wonder:
A) why you fretted so much about it in the first place.
B) why you spent so much damn money.
Buy a cheap and cheerful dress and put the rest of that cash in your Kate Spade bag account (your 24-year-old self really wants one -- preferably from the London line).
The guy you end up going with? Good guy but not the guy for you. Try to remember the lyrics to As Time Goes By when you kiss him (which you will invariably do because he's cute and plays guitar). A kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more.
Speaking of people -- they change. They'll grow and move on and lose touch. It's bound to happen and it's all right. Very few people actually keep the promises they hastily scribble in yearbooks (by the way, an inordinate amount of people make reference to your virginity in your yearbook. Feel free to tell them to fuck off).
There's a tall white kid named Jerry at your school. You kinda know him, but not really. This guy will be the best friend you ever had. You'll end up rooming with him and Paul in college and it will be the best time of your life. Remember Paul's friends, Dana and Jake? They'll become family, just like Jerry and Paul. Think of this as a fabulous reward for all the crap you'll go through in that department in the next couple of years.
Yeah. About that? You're gonna go through a bit of a trial by fire. It all works out in the end, but for a while there -- it's gonna suck. My advice? Call bullshit when you see it and remember that the words 'Welcome' aren't tattooed on your back. You're going to meet someone who basically embodies everything that is wrong and rotten about humanity. Remember that her opinion means nothing and don't let her get to you. Like I said, call bullshit when you see it and you'll be calling it a lot in her case.
As for your love life, I know it's complicated now, but it doesn't have to be. The on-again-off-again drama you've been embroiled in since last year? Let it go. He's a tool and you deserve better. Seriously. Don't answer his calls, stop penning emo bullshit in your journals, turn off the sad bastard music and blast some AC/DC, alright?
Tough love? He doesn't love you and you don't love him. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. Trust me.
All those people who deride your belief in a movie kind of love? They're idiots because it happens and it happens in a big way. You know Dan? The Internet Boy? Rainmann Dan? Yeah -- totally the love of your life. So much so that you move to Pennsylvania to be with him. I know, it sounds insane, but I swear it's true. Oh and in case you're wondering, he's just as cute now as he was in high school. (Proof of how amazing the Internet Boy is? You're gonna win an essay contest. Assbag McGee won't even call to congratulate you. Internet Boy, though? Will offer his genuine praise and congratulations and years later, you'll find a folder of your writing on his computer. Saved files because he thinks so much of your talent. See now why he's the love of your life? Yeah).
What else? Oh -- you find out that you have a bit of a quirky thyroid. Calm down. It's not a big deal -- just switch to decaf and your heart will stop doing that thing where it's trying to stampede out of your chest. You also discover that you're allergic to orange juice. Remember that on your 21st birthday when that last Screwdriver sends you over the edge.
The best advice I can give you is the best advice Kay gave me -- "Just keep writing and you'll be OK." Make sure you keep in touch with him. He's one of the better people in your life.
Oh yeah and one crucially important thing -- dear God, run out right now and buy a flat-iron. Seriously. Stop reading and do it. It'll be the best purchase you ever made and after one use, you'll become emotionally involved and I think your psychological well-being may even end up being connected to the straightness of your hair.
Have fun and when you're at your first Bakesale, keep an eagle-eye on the movements of the fat girl. Your/My ankle will thank you.
Lots of love:
Jaime xx
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