Steven Tyler is 58. That's four years older than my dad.
Steven Tyler is four years older than my father and yet, I find myself looking at him and saying, "Damn, you're a good looking guy!"
It's the mouth. It's gotta be the mouth. Dirty, sweet and completely, maddeningly sexy. The music too. Aerosmith's live shows are pretty much religious experiences. I saw them with Kid Rock back in 2002 and it blew my mind. Best show of my life.
So, it's the mouth and the music and and the fact that Steven Tyler epitomizes the very essence of a rock star.
I love the mythos of the rock star. We need men like that -- men with divine devilry dancing at their fingertips, shamans who can raise the dead with their voices and lift spirits with their words. Men who can breathe life into the world. After all, what's a guitar? Just some wood, six strings and a couple of knobs. But, in the hands of these musical magicians, a guitar becomes animated -- a bucking, thrusting wild creature who moans, screams, weeps and howls like women wish they could.
When did the rock star die?
One can make the argument that it all changed with Nirvana. The opening chords to Smells Like Teen Spirit were the death knell for the rock star. Cobain wasn't a rock star. He became one, rather unwillingly. Both crucified and glorified by the media, but he himself was never a rock star. It just wasn't inside of him.
So, who is it inside and will we ever see it again? God, I hope so...
Cock, Rock and Hennessy
We need to put the cock back into rock. What is rock n' roll? Stripped down, it's a blues euphemism for having sex. Pop got dirrty, Snoop's making porns, Nelly's taking off all his clothes 'cause it's hot in herre and R&B's always been about sweet, sweet lovin' all night long, but rock? It's been made into a eunich!
No-one's squeezing lemons till the juice runs down their legs. No-one's screaming like Prince to Gett Off. No-one's singing about being the lord of the thighs and big ten inch....records. Enough of this pansy caterwauling, enough of the Prozac-inducing sobriety, enough of the aggression and the "Mommy didn't hug me enough as a kid" crap.
There's nu-metal which, let's face it, is nothing more than hyperaggressive, distorted shit. No sexuality there [and no kids, the Slipknot lyric -- "I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound" does not count]. Then, there's this whole rap-rock hybrid emerging from the murky sonic depths. Again kids -- Limp Bizkit's Nookie -- and while we're on the subject, why would a bunch of grown men want to associate their band with the word "limp" -- does not count. And emo? Don't even get me started on emo. As my kid sister says, "Better retarded than emo!".
Elvis sang, "Baby, let's play house". I don't think he was talking about holding tea parties.
James Brown got on up like a sex machine.
Aerosmith loved it up while they were going down.
Led Zeppelin had their spoon inside a jar at the candy rock store.
Hell, even the cutest boy band in the world, the Beatles were in on it -- "Please please me/Oh yeah/Like I please you." Sweet innocent veiling a far lustier message.
It's all gotten way too complex. For the love of God, just pick up, plug in, play some bastardized blues riffs and sing about men, women and sex. That's all you really need. Politics and protest songs are great. Ditto computers to enhance your sound, but someone, anyone -- strip down to the basics and make it happen! Anyone except Jack White of The White Stripes. You sir, are a raging douchetard and the fact that you consider Stevie Ray Vaughan a lesser guitarist proves that point.
Get it together, strip it down, crank it up and fuckin' A, just push play! There's a reason Elvis swivelled his hips, there's a reason Jim Morrison snaked around onstage in a pair of practically-painted-on leather pants and there's a reason Steven Tyler writes lyrics like "Pink like the bing on your cherry". It's rock, not rocket science and if it wasn't supposed to be about sex in the first place -- they never would have called it rock n' roll.
Steven Tyler is four years older than my father and yet, I find myself looking at him and saying, "Damn, you're a good looking guy!"
It's the mouth. It's gotta be the mouth. Dirty, sweet and completely, maddeningly sexy. The music too. Aerosmith's live shows are pretty much religious experiences. I saw them with Kid Rock back in 2002 and it blew my mind. Best show of my life.
So, it's the mouth and the music and and the fact that Steven Tyler epitomizes the very essence of a rock star.
I love the mythos of the rock star. We need men like that -- men with divine devilry dancing at their fingertips, shamans who can raise the dead with their voices and lift spirits with their words. Men who can breathe life into the world. After all, what's a guitar? Just some wood, six strings and a couple of knobs. But, in the hands of these musical magicians, a guitar becomes animated -- a bucking, thrusting wild creature who moans, screams, weeps and howls like women wish they could.
When did the rock star die?
One can make the argument that it all changed with Nirvana. The opening chords to Smells Like Teen Spirit were the death knell for the rock star. Cobain wasn't a rock star. He became one, rather unwillingly. Both crucified and glorified by the media, but he himself was never a rock star. It just wasn't inside of him.
So, who is it inside and will we ever see it again? God, I hope so...
Cock, Rock and Hennessy
We need to put the cock back into rock. What is rock n' roll? Stripped down, it's a blues euphemism for having sex. Pop got dirrty, Snoop's making porns, Nelly's taking off all his clothes 'cause it's hot in herre and R&B's always been about sweet, sweet lovin' all night long, but rock? It's been made into a eunich!
No-one's squeezing lemons till the juice runs down their legs. No-one's screaming like Prince to Gett Off. No-one's singing about being the lord of the thighs and big ten inch....records. Enough of this pansy caterwauling, enough of the Prozac-inducing sobriety, enough of the aggression and the "Mommy didn't hug me enough as a kid" crap.
There's nu-metal which, let's face it, is nothing more than hyperaggressive, distorted shit. No sexuality there [and no kids, the Slipknot lyric -- "I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound" does not count]. Then, there's this whole rap-rock hybrid emerging from the murky sonic depths. Again kids -- Limp Bizkit's Nookie -- and while we're on the subject, why would a bunch of grown men want to associate their band with the word "limp" -- does not count. And emo? Don't even get me started on emo. As my kid sister says, "Better retarded than emo!".
Elvis sang, "Baby, let's play house". I don't think he was talking about holding tea parties.
James Brown got on up like a sex machine.
Aerosmith loved it up while they were going down.
Led Zeppelin had their spoon inside a jar at the candy rock store.
Hell, even the cutest boy band in the world, the Beatles were in on it -- "Please please me/Oh yeah/Like I please you." Sweet innocent veiling a far lustier message.
It's all gotten way too complex. For the love of God, just pick up, plug in, play some bastardized blues riffs and sing about men, women and sex. That's all you really need. Politics and protest songs are great. Ditto computers to enhance your sound, but someone, anyone -- strip down to the basics and make it happen! Anyone except Jack White of The White Stripes. You sir, are a raging douchetard and the fact that you consider Stevie Ray Vaughan a lesser guitarist proves that point.
Get it together, strip it down, crank it up and fuckin' A, just push play! There's a reason Elvis swivelled his hips, there's a reason Jim Morrison snaked around onstage in a pair of practically-painted-on leather pants and there's a reason Steven Tyler writes lyrics like "Pink like the bing on your cherry". It's rock, not rocket science and if it wasn't supposed to be about sex in the first place -- they never would have called it rock n' roll.
4 comments on "Demons of Screamin'"
At one spectrum, I'm very inclined to agree with you. I miss the days of the glorified rock star. On the other end, there was something a little too cocky about the rockstar and when band members became coy, well, there was something nice about that, too.
If the definition of a "rock star" is somebody who revels in their own lifestyle, their own lust and ability to inspire that lust, then I am so very disappointed to say this, but I suppose that rap and hip hop singers would be today's "rock star." Can't believe I just said that (and just for the record, I will deny that later).
Poor JJ... the sad state of affairs is that you can't market rock. You're one of the select few that still have a feverent passion for it. However, since everything you see/hear in the media is payed for by somebody, I doubt you'll hit that cusp that Rock had back in the day. It's an odd little conondrum there. You have a band that may embody your Rock standard, but in order to get anywhere near the reknown of an Aerosmith (it's a hard comparison to stretch to, but go with me) by the time they are shoved through the system to get on TV and on the radio and such, they're already labeled as sell-outs. I say we blame it on advertising and everybody looking for that bottom dollar. Best you're going to see (barring some miracle band) is the independent scene. They'll sell out too, though. And take their trip through the corporate/pop machine. Because everybody has a price... for the Million Dollar Man. HAHAHAHAHAHA
I can't believe I spelled payed wrong. And fervent, and conundrum, and probably a bunch others. I should start proofreading before I post, huh?
Ahhh, Virgil -- to this date, a more useless addition to the WWF stable cannot be found. I mean, Jesus -- the Repo Man was a better character than him and the Repo Man was deplorable!
I love that no matter the topic at hand, you can always find a way to weave a wrestling story arc/character into it. It's genius.
Anyway -- I'm not asking for the second coming of Zeppelin. I'm really not. I just want someone to have that sort of passion and fury again, you know? I want more musicians like Stevie Ray Vaughan who were essentially invisible until they picked up their six strings. I don't care if they're mainstream or underground. I just want to hear something that feels good. Not sounds good, not a radio-friendly unit shifter, but something that awakens a primal urge within.
Considering what rock and roll is meant to be -- I don't think this is asking for too much.
Proofreading, by the way, is for suckers. Well, suckers and journalism majors ;)
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