December 2, 2009

Running Commentary Wednesday - 12/2/09

Posted by Miss Jaime at Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Welcome to Running Commentary Wednesday. Here's the lowdown -- I am totally barefaced as I woke up late this morning and didn't have time to do my make-up, it's not even 9:00 and I've already launched into a Diet Dr. Pepper and I've got (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home stuck in my head.

8:03: Not stopping for coffee was a terrible mistake. Also a terrible mistake -- waking up late and realizing you have no defrosty windshield wiper fluid.

8:41: So, I've been thinking more and more about getting a tattoo. This is usually the sort of reckless decision made in your early twenties after one too many Jagerbombs, but I think it's time to put my crippling fear of needles aside and get some ink. The only idea I've go so far is a tattoo on my right wrist that reads 'Writer' but I've got two issues with that:

A) Holy pretension, Batman! Seriously -- what kind of douchebag has 'writer' tattooed on their body? There are only two ways I could justify this:
1) If I publish a piece of literature that outsells the combined total of the Bible, Harry Potter, Twilight and every John Grisham novel ever published.
2) If I somehow manage to become Ernest Hemingway. Papa was a bad-ass who could get away with something like this.
B) A tattoo on the wrist sounds particularly painful. More so than mostly anywhere else on one's body. Also, a wrist tattoo would probably be harder to cover up in a professional setting. But on the plus side, the skin on my wrists will probably never change.

Any suggestions/recommendations? Do you have tattoos yourself? How did you decide what to get? Do you regret the decision now?

9:08: In less temporary body modification news, I'm finally getting my hair done this weekend. I really want this (partially because I have a total crush on Rashida Jones. I mean, she's smart, funny, talented, gorgeous and she dated John Krasinski. What's not to like?)



but get the feeling I won't be able to pull it off, so instead -- caramel brown with honey-colored highlights. Hopefully, it'll look as delicious as it sounds.

9:20: So, there's been some controversy about Kate Moss', "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," comment. To which, I respond, "Bitch, have you ever tried stuffing?" To which Imaginary Kate Moss Who Lives In My Head responds, "No, but I can you have..." and proceeds to poke my hips with a withered, bony finger. IKMWLIMH is kind of a bitch and I am in serious need of coffee and a nap because I've obviously lost my mind.

11:32: Does anyone else think that Jaimee Grubbs (Tiger Woods' alleged mistress) looks like a third-rate Shakira impersonator?

11:38: Dan and I made an executive decision not to put up a Christmas tree this year (as neither of us will really be around for the holidays) and I think that, coupled with the fact that we did all of our Christmas shopping online and that I've yet to indulge in a delicious red cup beverage, are affecting my sense of holiday spirit. Hopefully, it'll come rushing in full force when we hit up the Magic Kingdom later this month. If Disney can't get you feeling holly-jolly, you might very well be dead inside.

12:35: Dear Baby might just be the sweetest blog I've ever read. It's the weirdest thing -- every time I read an entry, I hear this really faint ticking noise. Hmmm....strange, that.

12:36: Calm down, Mom. Dan and I are still a little ways away from that adventure.

3:09: Why is it that the people you'd least like to see nude are the first ones to strip down to their skivvies? I just saw pictures of the Phildelphia Naked Bike Ride and I'm kind of amazed. Firstly because my puritanical sensibilities would never allow me to do such a thing --having your lumpy bits out on display for the entire city to ogle/judge? Mortifying. Utterly mortifying. And secondly, I'm amazed by the sheer number of people who are willing to rock out with their cock out/jam out with their clam out in 40 degree weather. Didn't these men watch Seinfeld? Are they unaware of shrinkage?

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