I'm carefully peeling back the laminate and updating the list. Looking over it, I've realized three things:
A) I dig older men. 80% of my list is comprised of men within two years of 40. Since I'm almost 27, I'm OK with that. It would be way creepier if my list was comprised of dudes like Taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber (who is that kid, anyway?)
B) I dig actors. 80% of my list is comprised of men who earn their ducats pretending to be someone else.
C) I dig men named David...or a variant of.
So, without further ado, here for your pleasure (but mostly mine) is the updated Laminated List.
5.
Name: David Boreanaz
Age: 40
Occupation: Actor
I'm not a vampire fetishist. The sight of blood revolts me, I'm a big morning person, think everyone looks better with a tan and being a vegetarian, that whole carnivorous diet thing? Yeah, that ain't working. But, if I had to pick a vampire to lust after, it would be David Boreanaz's Angel. He's got a soul, he's been known to crack a funny ever now and then, he's got the sartorial taste of a gay man, he can wear a suit like no other and he could kick Sparkles' ass from here to Transylvania, no problem. Also, dude's got a killer smile. I've always been a sucker for that.
4.
Name: Dave Grohl
Age: 40
Occupation: Musician
I'm kind of conflicted on this one. Part of me wants to be his BFF -- hang out, drink beer, eat really good pizza, talk about music...and then, he starts playing music and I get the inexplicable urge to fling my boyshorts at him. Hmmm...funny, that.
3.
Name: Sam Trammell
Age: 38
Occupation: Actor
Hello new addition! Sam Trammell plays shapeshifter Sam Merlotte on True Blood and since the first episode, I've wanted to grab him, throw him down on the bar and recreate scenes from several R-rated movies. It's the hair -- sandy, salt and peppery -- and the mouth. It inspires all sorts of lascivious thoughts. Also inspiring lascivious thoughts? His butt. Not gonna lie -- it's pretty rockin'. Also rockin'? The fact that he attended both Brown and the University of Paris. Smart = sexy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
2.
Name: John Krasinski
Age: 29
Occupation: Actor
I totally agree with Andrea -- John is the kind of guy who would get up in the middle of the night to get you a glass of water. He's handsome, he's sweet and he's uproariously funny (case in point). Emily Blunt is a lucky girl (and you know what? So am I because Dan always gets me water, he's gorgeous, sweet and makes me laugh so hard, I cry).
1.
Name: Ron Livingston
Age: 42
Occupation: Actor
And topping the list again is Ron Livingston. The mere mention of his name turns me into a blushing, utterly inarticulate slip of a girl who can do little more than grin like an idiot, play with her hair and make indecipherable noises. I essentially revert back to a seventh grader with a crush. So, what is it about Ron Livingston that lights my fire? Basically, he seems like a really decent guy. He's been in two of my favorite movies of all time (Swingers and Office Space), I like his laugh and I really like the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Silly, really but when have crushes (especially crushes on celebrities that you will thankfully never meet) been anything but?
And on the flip side -- a list of men who I'm attracted to for reasons that no-one can even begin to fathom but I'm going to valiantly try and explain them anyway. I.E. -- A List of Men I Wish Tiger Beat Would Make Pin-Ups For, But Obviously Won't Because They're Not Conventionally Dreamy.
Again, note the trend of older men. Not one under the age of 40! When did I start finding salt-and-pepper hair sexy? Hmmm.....
4.
Name: Jeff Garlin
Age: 47
Occupation: Actor
Yes, that Jeff Garlin. The one continually being abused by Susie Essman on Curb Your Enthusiasm as the "fat fuck." I know, I know! You're thinking, "Dude, what the fuck? Seriously?" but hear me out. Garlin has a great voice (loved him in Wall-E), he's funny, he seems quite sweet and at the end of the day, all he wants is someone to eat cheese with. I could totally be that someone.
3.
Name: Dana Gould
Age: 45
Occupation: Writer/Comedian
The first time I really noticed Dana Gould was on an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher. The conversation between Dan and I went something like this:
Jaime: Wait, that's Dana Gould?
Dan: Yeah.
Jaime: The writer from The Simpsons? That Dana Gould?
Dan: Yeah.
Jaime: Wow....He's kinda hot.
Dan: Wait, what?
And he is. He's good-looking, funny and smart (Simpsons writers are usually eggheads and Gould's got a quick political wit, which is totally sexy) -- hitting the trifecta of traits I look for in a crush.
2.
Name: Bill Simmons
Age: 40
Occupation: Writer/Columnist for ESPN
Simmons, also known as Sports Guy, is a Pats fan. This puts him just above serial killers who wear clown make-up. BUT, Bill's the exception to the rule. The man can write. And the man can spout pop culture trivia. And the man invented both the Unintentional Comedy and Vengeance Scales. And the man's starting to go a little gray which, let's be honest, looks really, really good on him.
1.
Name: Bradley Whitford
Age: 50
Occupation: Actor
So, it wasn't so much Bradley Whitford as it was Danny Tripp from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The guy was smart, passionate, slightly tragic and witty. Oh and the way he wore his glasses atop his head? Remarkably sexy. I have no doubt that West-Wing-A-Thon 2009 (my sister and I are planning on spending Christmas doing nothing but eating and watching The West Wing) and Whitford's portrayal as Josh Lyman will do nothing but further my crush.
So, that's the list. Who's on yours?
A) I dig older men. 80% of my list is comprised of men within two years of 40. Since I'm almost 27, I'm OK with that. It would be way creepier if my list was comprised of dudes like Taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber (who is that kid, anyway?)
B) I dig actors. 80% of my list is comprised of men who earn their ducats pretending to be someone else.
C) I dig men named David...or a variant of.
So, without further ado, here for your pleasure (but mostly mine) is the updated Laminated List.
5.
Name: David Boreanaz
Age: 40
Occupation: Actor
I'm not a vampire fetishist. The sight of blood revolts me, I'm a big morning person, think everyone looks better with a tan and being a vegetarian, that whole carnivorous diet thing? Yeah, that ain't working. But, if I had to pick a vampire to lust after, it would be David Boreanaz's Angel. He's got a soul, he's been known to crack a funny ever now and then, he's got the sartorial taste of a gay man, he can wear a suit like no other and he could kick Sparkles' ass from here to Transylvania, no problem. Also, dude's got a killer smile. I've always been a sucker for that.
4.
Name: Dave Grohl
Age: 40
Occupation: Musician
I'm kind of conflicted on this one. Part of me wants to be his BFF -- hang out, drink beer, eat really good pizza, talk about music...and then, he starts playing music and I get the inexplicable urge to fling my boyshorts at him. Hmmm...funny, that.
3.
Name: Sam Trammell
Age: 38
Occupation: Actor
Hello new addition! Sam Trammell plays shapeshifter Sam Merlotte on True Blood and since the first episode, I've wanted to grab him, throw him down on the bar and recreate scenes from several R-rated movies. It's the hair -- sandy, salt and peppery -- and the mouth. It inspires all sorts of lascivious thoughts. Also inspiring lascivious thoughts? His butt. Not gonna lie -- it's pretty rockin'. Also rockin'? The fact that he attended both Brown and the University of Paris. Smart = sexy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
2.
Name: John Krasinski
Age: 29
Occupation: Actor
I totally agree with Andrea -- John is the kind of guy who would get up in the middle of the night to get you a glass of water. He's handsome, he's sweet and he's uproariously funny (case in point). Emily Blunt is a lucky girl (and you know what? So am I because Dan always gets me water, he's gorgeous, sweet and makes me laugh so hard, I cry).
1.
Name: Ron Livingston
Age: 42
Occupation: Actor
And topping the list again is Ron Livingston. The mere mention of his name turns me into a blushing, utterly inarticulate slip of a girl who can do little more than grin like an idiot, play with her hair and make indecipherable noises. I essentially revert back to a seventh grader with a crush. So, what is it about Ron Livingston that lights my fire? Basically, he seems like a really decent guy. He's been in two of my favorite movies of all time (Swingers and Office Space), I like his laugh and I really like the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. Silly, really but when have crushes (especially crushes on celebrities that you will thankfully never meet) been anything but?
And on the flip side -- a list of men who I'm attracted to for reasons that no-one can even begin to fathom but I'm going to valiantly try and explain them anyway. I.E. -- A List of Men I Wish Tiger Beat Would Make Pin-Ups For, But Obviously Won't Because They're Not Conventionally Dreamy.
Again, note the trend of older men. Not one under the age of 40! When did I start finding salt-and-pepper hair sexy? Hmmm.....
4.
Name: Jeff Garlin
Age: 47
Occupation: Actor
Yes, that Jeff Garlin. The one continually being abused by Susie Essman on Curb Your Enthusiasm as the "fat fuck." I know, I know! You're thinking, "Dude, what the fuck? Seriously?" but hear me out. Garlin has a great voice (loved him in Wall-E), he's funny, he seems quite sweet and at the end of the day, all he wants is someone to eat cheese with. I could totally be that someone.
3.
Name: Dana Gould
Age: 45
Occupation: Writer/Comedian
The first time I really noticed Dana Gould was on an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher. The conversation between Dan and I went something like this:
Jaime: Wait, that's Dana Gould?
Dan: Yeah.
Jaime: The writer from The Simpsons? That Dana Gould?
Dan: Yeah.
Jaime: Wow....He's kinda hot.
Dan: Wait, what?
And he is. He's good-looking, funny and smart (Simpsons writers are usually eggheads and Gould's got a quick political wit, which is totally sexy) -- hitting the trifecta of traits I look for in a crush.
2.
Name: Bill Simmons
Age: 40
Occupation: Writer/Columnist for ESPN
Simmons, also known as Sports Guy, is a Pats fan. This puts him just above serial killers who wear clown make-up. BUT, Bill's the exception to the rule. The man can write. And the man can spout pop culture trivia. And the man invented both the Unintentional Comedy and Vengeance Scales. And the man's starting to go a little gray which, let's be honest, looks really, really good on him.
1.
Name: Bradley Whitford
Age: 50
Occupation: Actor
So, it wasn't so much Bradley Whitford as it was Danny Tripp from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The guy was smart, passionate, slightly tragic and witty. Oh and the way he wore his glasses atop his head? Remarkably sexy. I have no doubt that West-Wing-A-Thon 2009 (my sister and I are planning on spending Christmas doing nothing but eating and watching The West Wing) and Whitford's portrayal as Josh Lyman will do nothing but further my crush.
So, that's the list. Who's on yours?
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