Sarika: Oh Christ. How are birthers getting so much airtime?!
Jaime: I don't know -- I mean, why are we even legitimizing their bullshit? I'm just going to start making up baseless rumors.
Sarika: Seriously, you'll get on cable news in minutes
Jaime: Sean Hannity was born a black woman in antebellum Mississippi
Sarika: Nah, stick with unknown repubs, get them some airtime. That dude who was on the Real World is running for the house as a conservative republican that's actually true
Jaime: NO WAY!
Sarika: yep, the one from boston season. the guy who was a lumberjack
Jaime: Oh! Sean!
Sarika: http://3pts.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/ashland-county-district-attorney-sean-duffy-likely-to-run-for-congress/
Jaime: He married Rachel from RW 3 -- the Cuban Republican
Sarika: oh geez, well, he's running against a popular republican so he'll probably lose
Jaime: I don't know -- people are stupid and easily lead
Sarika: popular democrat* sorry
Jaime: Especially young people
Sarika: also, apparently, a lot of people in DC are pissed about the real world cast being there
Jaime: Although that season was a while ago, so who knows? They might not even know him!
Sarika: Probably, considering that he didn't have a three way in a hot tub while trying to further his rap career
Jaime: Career? Please! You know how much money those idiots make on the lecture circuit?
Sarika: Wait, seriously? Why the hell would anyone want them to lecture about ANYTHING?
Jaime: Go on real world and then, bum around for the next ten years doing club appearances and lectures
Sarika: Part of me wants to go on the show and just ruin things
Jaime: Yep -- they visit colleges all over the place and talk about their experiences. How so?
Sarika: like when people are having an argument go into the room and start singing or yelling loudly. that'll piss not only the roommates off, but the editors too.
Jaime: Start stumping for some insane political ideal -- "WHIG PARTY FOREVER!"
Sarika: so they can't use the footage
Jaime: Or just use a bunch of copyrighted terms -- "Oh Coca-Cola! You ARE the real thing!""Nike, you Just Do It better than the rest!"
Sarika: And paint things on the walls, like arbitrary political slogans -"Tippecanoe and Tyler too!""McGovern 72!"
Jaime: I Like Ike!
Sarika: Now you're getting it!
Jaime: God, that would be my favorite season ever
Sarika: I want to make it impossible to use any of my footage. And then ruin others' on air time
Jaime: Also, you should ask the blindingly obvious questions that the audience is screaming at the television - "So, hooked up with a married guy, huh? How's that being a whore thing treating you?"
Sarika: "Why are you yelling about a Snapple? is it because the camera is there?"
Jaime: "It's a good thing they're blurring your genitals because they're embarrassingly small."
Sarika: "do you really think your rap career will succeed? you're not very good.""no, NOT using a condom is the number one contributor to pregnancy"
Jaime: "You're just kissing that girl to get back at your father for not being around..."
Sarika: "why are you talking about gay marriage? you're completely politically uninformed. do you even know who your congressman is?"
Sarika: have you noticed that people's names on that show are getting more and more strange?
Jaime: Oh sweet Jesus, they're SO bad
Sarika: Khymmberlie. I made that up, but it is possible
Jaime: Ayiiaa. I didn't make that one up
Sarika: This season, i saw a commercial for it, there's a girl named Aiyaa. Yeah! Something like that, I knew it. TOO MANY VOWELS
Jaime: Cohutta. I KNOW!
Sarika: Brawny! That's an adjective!
Jaime: The quilted quicker picker upper or Connecticut WASP? You decide!
Sarika: I want there to be people who are in school on that show or working
Jaime: Kaia -- whose real name was Margaret. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. God, I'm tired of being a chubby outcast. Can you turn me into a pseudo-intellectual bulimic hipster with a ridiculous name?
Sarika: prayer answered
Jaime: I want that show to return to its roots -- first season, they lived in a cool loft, actually talked about things besides sex and had some diversity. Now? Generic hot people all vying for STDs and camera time
Sarika: I am going to go on now. i won't smoke, drink, or cause any drama. i will be non confrontational, but will paint copyrighted slogans everywhere and will play mind games with everyone by being entirely normal. i will find a job and ruin this show.
Jaime: Also, you can sing Prince songs EVERY time you're on camera. He's a litigious little leprechaun. They'll never be able to air that footage.
Jaime: I don't know -- I mean, why are we even legitimizing their bullshit? I'm just going to start making up baseless rumors.
Sarika: Seriously, you'll get on cable news in minutes
Jaime: Sean Hannity was born a black woman in antebellum Mississippi
Sarika: Nah, stick with unknown repubs, get them some airtime. That dude who was on the Real World is running for the house as a conservative republican that's actually true
Jaime: NO WAY!
Sarika: yep, the one from boston season. the guy who was a lumberjack
Jaime: Oh! Sean!
Sarika: http://3pts.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/ashland-county-district-attorney-sean-duffy-likely-to-run-for-congress/
Jaime: He married Rachel from RW 3 -- the Cuban Republican
Sarika: oh geez, well, he's running against a popular republican so he'll probably lose
Jaime: I don't know -- people are stupid and easily lead
Sarika: popular democrat* sorry
Jaime: Especially young people
Sarika: also, apparently, a lot of people in DC are pissed about the real world cast being there
Jaime: Although that season was a while ago, so who knows? They might not even know him!
Sarika: Probably, considering that he didn't have a three way in a hot tub while trying to further his rap career
Jaime: Career? Please! You know how much money those idiots make on the lecture circuit?
Sarika: Wait, seriously? Why the hell would anyone want them to lecture about ANYTHING?
Jaime: Go on real world and then, bum around for the next ten years doing club appearances and lectures
Sarika: Part of me wants to go on the show and just ruin things
Jaime: Yep -- they visit colleges all over the place and talk about their experiences. How so?
Sarika: like when people are having an argument go into the room and start singing or yelling loudly. that'll piss not only the roommates off, but the editors too.
Jaime: Start stumping for some insane political ideal -- "WHIG PARTY FOREVER!"
Sarika: so they can't use the footage
Jaime: Or just use a bunch of copyrighted terms -- "Oh Coca-Cola! You ARE the real thing!""Nike, you Just Do It better than the rest!"
Sarika: And paint things on the walls, like arbitrary political slogans -"Tippecanoe and Tyler too!""McGovern 72!"
Jaime: I Like Ike!
Sarika: Now you're getting it!
Jaime: God, that would be my favorite season ever
Sarika: I want to make it impossible to use any of my footage. And then ruin others' on air time
Jaime: Also, you should ask the blindingly obvious questions that the audience is screaming at the television - "So, hooked up with a married guy, huh? How's that being a whore thing treating you?"
Sarika: "Why are you yelling about a Snapple? is it because the camera is there?"
Jaime: "It's a good thing they're blurring your genitals because they're embarrassingly small."
Sarika: "do you really think your rap career will succeed? you're not very good.""no, NOT using a condom is the number one contributor to pregnancy"
Jaime: "You're just kissing that girl to get back at your father for not being around..."
Sarika: "why are you talking about gay marriage? you're completely politically uninformed. do you even know who your congressman is?"
Sarika: have you noticed that people's names on that show are getting more and more strange?
Jaime: Oh sweet Jesus, they're SO bad
Sarika: Khymmberlie. I made that up, but it is possible
Jaime: Ayiiaa. I didn't make that one up
Sarika: This season, i saw a commercial for it, there's a girl named Aiyaa. Yeah! Something like that, I knew it. TOO MANY VOWELS
Jaime: Cohutta. I KNOW!
Sarika: Brawny! That's an adjective!
Jaime: The quilted quicker picker upper or Connecticut WASP? You decide!
Sarika: I want there to be people who are in school on that show or working
Jaime: Kaia -- whose real name was Margaret. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. God, I'm tired of being a chubby outcast. Can you turn me into a pseudo-intellectual bulimic hipster with a ridiculous name?
Sarika: prayer answered
Jaime: I want that show to return to its roots -- first season, they lived in a cool loft, actually talked about things besides sex and had some diversity. Now? Generic hot people all vying for STDs and camera time
Sarika: I am going to go on now. i won't smoke, drink, or cause any drama. i will be non confrontational, but will paint copyrighted slogans everywhere and will play mind games with everyone by being entirely normal. i will find a job and ruin this show.
Jaime: Also, you can sing Prince songs EVERY time you're on camera. He's a litigious little leprechaun. They'll never be able to air that footage.
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