Every summer, I designate a cocktail for the season. Summer 2008, it was Absolut Pears and Sprite and this year, I'm kicking it old-school by ordering Tom Collins' at pretty much every bar I hit. Yes, I am an old man.
However, my non-alcoholic sponsor for summer since 2004 has been iced coffee. I got addicted to it in London where I'd slug down iced mochas and then, spend the day running around the city with my sister and my best friend. It was awesome.
My iced coffee needs are simple -- I don't need Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts (I'm not really a fan of either, anyway). Nothing cold-dripped or made Vietnamese style (although that does sound delicious), just regular coffee brewed up and dropped in the fridge overnight to chill.
So, last Thursday, I made myself a tumbler to take into work. It was perfect - rich and strong with a little sugar and vanilla. Add a couple of ice cubes and some half-and-half and I'm in love.
I drank about half the tumbler and left the rest in the fridge, figuring I could grab some when I came into the office on Tuesday.
I get in this morning, looking forward to my jolt of caffeine and sugar. I fling open the fridge door, reach in and grab....nothing.
My coffee is gone. Tumbler and all. Dub tee eff.
The GD Scale: Office Edition
1. Using tired cliches like, "Working hard or hardly working?" Really, dude? Really?
2. Using the last of the paper in the copier/fax machine and not replacing it. It takes all of three seconds and makes life easier for the next five people who use the machine.
3. Not using the Outlook calendar. It makes your life so easy. Why wouldn't you use it?
4. Making stinky food in the communal microwave and having the entire office reek of substandard beef lo mein for hours afterwards. I'm not judging. I love stinky food -- onions, garlic, gorgonzola... -- but there's a time and a place. And that place is not the office.
5. Swiping the cute assistant's coffee from the fridge. The cute assistant needs her iced coffee. It keeps her cheerful and perky and totally able to deal with people who call and ask point blank, "Is she there yet?" (Ummm, who?)
Sp tonight, I'm making a new batch and if it gets swiped this time, heads will roll...and by heads will roll, I mean I'll gripe to anyone who will listen, make that crinkly nose face I make and close the book on the thing by blogging.
I'm not very hardcore.
However, my non-alcoholic sponsor for summer since 2004 has been iced coffee. I got addicted to it in London where I'd slug down iced mochas and then, spend the day running around the city with my sister and my best friend. It was awesome.
My iced coffee needs are simple -- I don't need Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts (I'm not really a fan of either, anyway). Nothing cold-dripped or made Vietnamese style (although that does sound delicious), just regular coffee brewed up and dropped in the fridge overnight to chill.
So, last Thursday, I made myself a tumbler to take into work. It was perfect - rich and strong with a little sugar and vanilla. Add a couple of ice cubes and some half-and-half and I'm in love.
I drank about half the tumbler and left the rest in the fridge, figuring I could grab some when I came into the office on Tuesday.
I get in this morning, looking forward to my jolt of caffeine and sugar. I fling open the fridge door, reach in and grab....nothing.
My coffee is gone. Tumbler and all. Dub tee eff.
The GD Scale: Office Edition
1. Using tired cliches like, "Working hard or hardly working?" Really, dude? Really?
2. Using the last of the paper in the copier/fax machine and not replacing it. It takes all of three seconds and makes life easier for the next five people who use the machine.
3. Not using the Outlook calendar. It makes your life so easy. Why wouldn't you use it?
4. Making stinky food in the communal microwave and having the entire office reek of substandard beef lo mein for hours afterwards. I'm not judging. I love stinky food -- onions, garlic, gorgonzola... -- but there's a time and a place. And that place is not the office.
5. Swiping the cute assistant's coffee from the fridge. The cute assistant needs her iced coffee. It keeps her cheerful and perky and totally able to deal with people who call and ask point blank, "Is she there yet?" (Ummm, who?)
Sp tonight, I'm making a new batch and if it gets swiped this time, heads will roll...and by heads will roll, I mean I'll gripe to anyone who will listen, make that crinkly nose face I make and close the book on the thing by blogging.
I'm not very hardcore.
3 comments on "I can't stop drinking the coffee, I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words putting into sentence doing."
Crinkly nose face... yeah, I do that. Especially when uncaffeinated.
Also, how's the Tom Collins treating you? I kinda want to switch over...
Tom Collins are essentially like margaritas -- when they're made with real ingredients like lime, they're delicious. But the second you make them with that super-processed, HFCS-neon-yellow sour mix? They're terrible.
I also highly recommend the Blackberry Tom Collins. It's delicious!
Here's how you find out who swiped your coffee:
Make a "special batch" of coffee and melt down a few ex-lax's in there.
Look for the person in your office who makes a beeline for the shitter. lol
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