I think I have the Simpson Gene.
Yes, the last name 'Simpson' is about as prevalent in India as neighborhood steakhouses are, but the song remains the same.
Ladies and gents, I am getting dumber.
For those of you who didn't dedicate untold hours watching and rewatching episodes of The Simpsons, the Simpson gene is a cognitive anomaly which causes one to gradually lose their intelligence as they age and end up doing things like this:
Luckily for Lisa, the dreaded Simpson Gene only affected men. However, in the real world where people have five fingers instead of four -- The Simpson Gene is gender-blind.
In the past four months, I've stopped writing as much, I've forgotten where I parked my car, completely forgotten the definition of the word, 'esoteric', the capital of Nevada, whether it was Thomas Hobbes or John Locke who said that life was, "nasty, brutish and short" and sucked at Jeopardy. I never suck at Jeopardy!
What the hell is happening to me? I used to be smart as a monkey and now, I'm as dumb as a chimp.
Is this what happens post-college? You stop going to classes, you stop steeping in academia and you become a moron? Your intellect starts to molt and before you know it, you're actually taking Glenn Beck seriously?
I read constantly (books I finished this weekend: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore and Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes -- granted, it's not like I polished off War and Peace or anything, but hey -- give me credit for not spending my weekend nose-deep in Twilight), I'm much more politically involved than I used to be (well, as involved as one can be without actually partaking in the democratic process by voting), I have conversations with my buddy Will about the vastness and complexities of the universe and damn it, I watch Lost and spend hours theorizing about the show.
How can I possibly be getting dumber?!
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you overcome it? Read more? Wrote more? Did quadratic functions for fun? Dove headfirst into spirituality? Became BFF with Stephen Hawking?
Please let me know. I'm rage, raging against the dying of intellect and would really appreciate a little light.
Yes, the last name 'Simpson' is about as prevalent in India as neighborhood steakhouses are, but the song remains the same.
Ladies and gents, I am getting dumber.
For those of you who didn't dedicate untold hours watching and rewatching episodes of The Simpsons, the Simpson gene is a cognitive anomaly which causes one to gradually lose their intelligence as they age and end up doing things like this:
Luckily for Lisa, the dreaded Simpson Gene only affected men. However, in the real world where people have five fingers instead of four -- The Simpson Gene is gender-blind.
In the past four months, I've stopped writing as much, I've forgotten where I parked my car, completely forgotten the definition of the word, 'esoteric', the capital of Nevada, whether it was Thomas Hobbes or John Locke who said that life was, "nasty, brutish and short" and sucked at Jeopardy. I never suck at Jeopardy!
What the hell is happening to me? I used to be smart as a monkey and now, I'm as dumb as a chimp.
Is this what happens post-college? You stop going to classes, you stop steeping in academia and you become a moron? Your intellect starts to molt and before you know it, you're actually taking Glenn Beck seriously?
I read constantly (books I finished this weekend: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore and Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes -- granted, it's not like I polished off War and Peace or anything, but hey -- give me credit for not spending my weekend nose-deep in Twilight), I'm much more politically involved than I used to be (well, as involved as one can be without actually partaking in the democratic process by voting), I have conversations with my buddy Will about the vastness and complexities of the universe and damn it, I watch Lost and spend hours theorizing about the show.
How can I possibly be getting dumber?!
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you overcome it? Read more? Wrote more? Did quadratic functions for fun? Dove headfirst into spirituality? Became BFF with Stephen Hawking?
Please let me know. I'm rage, raging against the dying of intellect and would really appreciate a little light.
3 comments on "I'm losing my perspicacity!"
oh god, this is what i have to look forward to!? haha just kidding... where are you working now? You should try to write for a local newspaper or something.. it's small but at least it's something you know?
I definitely read somewhere that the age of mental decline starts somewhere around 25 I think. By those measurements I'm going downhill as we speak.
I think senility comes in waves, therefore it will go away again! And come back. ;) I have definitely thought I was losing my mind before.
You should also read A Year in the World by Frances Mayes. I ate it up. You feel like you've been everywhere, then remember it was her, not you. Makes me want to go to all those places though. Except maybe Fez, which didn't sound so hot.
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