December 24, 2008

Festivus Yes! Bagels No!

Posted by Miss Jaime at Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Happy Festivus!

I may not have an aluminum pole or evidence of a miracle but I do have a list of grievances just itching to be aired.

So, without further ado -- the Airing of Grievances:

- The Duggar Family and the media for fawning all over these people. Mr. and Mrs. Duggar: Stop having children! My God, the uterus is not a clown car! You can't possibly give each child the individual attention he or she deserves. To the media: Instead of mollycoddling a couple with an overactive reproductive system, how about lauding intellect? Scientists, mathematicians, artists, writers, philosophers! You know what happens when you praise stupidity? George W. Bush.

- Teenage girls going to the mall in their pajamas complete with bunny slippers. Really, girls? Come on! You drop the equivalent of my paycheck in one spree at Hollister. The least you can do is actually wear the clothing you purchase there.

- Dick Cheney (I thought evil like this only existed in comic books. He's like an unholy hybrid between Darth Vader and Lex Luthor) Rick Warren (handing out donuts does not make you any less of a bigot. It just makes you a homophobic publicity whore), Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Malkin, Steve Doocy, Karl Rove, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid (for not being nearly as combative as they should have been), George W. Bush, Rod Blagojevich, Bill O'Reilly, the Mormon Church members who voted 'yes; on Prop 8 (In what universe is having multiple underage brides a sacrosanct definition of marriage?) and about twenty other people whose names alone cause a serious spike in my blood pressure.

- The sandwich I ate last night. When I order a grilled veggie grinder, I expect a grilled sandwich, stuffed with tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and broccoli with melted mozzarella cheese on top. A grilled lettuce, cucumber, carrot and tomato sandwich with melted mozzarella on top is not the same thing. Grilled cucumbers taste awful!

- Icy steps. I wiped out this morning and as a result, have a very festive fruitcake-colored bruise on my leg.

Now, as tradition dictates -- I challenge any blogger out there to a feat of strength. Jaime 3:16 is ready to whup some ass.

On a more serious note -- merry Christmas! Have a wonderful holiday!

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